Ocean Breathes Salty

Friday. I hustled our clients out the door and dropped them off at the CalTrain session with juuuuust enough time to run a comb through my hair, pick up Jay-Z and head to the city for a co-worker's bday party. This means I didn't get to put my Halloween outfit together. :(

We had a late dinner at a restaurant in North Beach. Albona specializes in Istrian cuisine - actually, I'd say the place specialized in poking fun at people. Bruno, the owner, took great care of us and kept us all in stitches. The food was phenomenal and I will make a return visit.

The crowd continued on to Suede, but Jay-Z and I had planned to make it an early night, so we hit the road.

Saturday A day of delicious nothingness. Oh wait, this is the day I watched porn: at some point, I added all the Best Picture winners to my Netflix queue. Somewhere in my list, I have Drugstore Cowboy. So, you can imagine my surprise when, instead of drugged out Matt Dillon, the movie opened with Jon Voight, circa 1969. Whoops - Midnight Cowboy. Watching Angelina's daddy in a movie that was X-rated when it came out was not what I expected, but surprises are .... good.

Sunday More do nothingness - much of it occurring in the papasan chair on my balcony. Drifting in and out while reading Barrel Fever with the sun warming my toes = just about perfect. I headed into the city to meet brimful for dinner and our weekly viewing of Lost. Our dinner of Korean barbecue was marred by The. Worst. Music. Known. to. (Wo)man. Unspeakably bad. No, no - in fact, one step removed from unspeakably bad: these weren't just hideous songs, they were covers of hideous songs! I would be trying to focus on what b was saying, and there would be this horible crescendo, a rising wave of awfulness that would just tear me away.

In other news, and I'm not the first to say this, I think Lost has jumped the shark. The show is now annoying the crap out of me. It is possible that b will convert me to something else, maybe Friday Night Lights.

Crappy music and infuriating television programming can't ruin an evening with la brim. I had a great time (and a lemon bar, too.)

Every Day I Write the Book

A recent reader of ze blog said that I had good taste in books, which made me wonder when I last mentioned a book on the blog. And, it reminded me that I've been meaning to respond to Two Timing the Cosmos's tag, so here goes my version of the book meme:

1) One book that changed your life?

Wow. I'm drawing a blank. I'll go with Law School Confidential - I read it when I was in the process of deciding/committing to going to law school. It's not that it changed my life; more like I was in the process of changing it myself.

2) One book you have read more than once?

All of the books that made it through the Great Purge of '05 (i.e. the move from DC to SF) are books that I have read multiple times. It's more than that: I read every book on my bookshelf multiple times during law school. I'm a voracious reader and have difficulty reading a chapter or two and putting a book down. I knew that I couldn't afford the time (or, really, the $$) to read new books in law school, so when I needed a break from caselaw, I would read a few pages from an old favorite.

3) One book you would want on a desert island?

How to Survive Anything, Anywhere. ;)

4) One book that made you cry?

The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver. This could also easily fit the book I have read more than once, and book I would want on a desert island categories. I've read it repeatedly, and I've cried every time. This is saying something as I am not a big cryer. Kingsolver is one of my favorite authors - if I could write like someone, I'd choose her. This novel is a little hard to get into as there are multiple narrators, etc. but it is so worth it. The story is of a Baptist missionary family stationed in the Belgian Congo in the 1960s, but really it is an allegory about American foreign policy.

Man, I may have to re-read it again soon.

5) One book that made you laugh?

A Moveable Feast. I feel pretentious having "a Hemingway" on this list, but I have a very particular memory of reading this book on the metro going home from a party and (literally) laughing out loud at Hemingway's memories of living in Paris as a young man.

6) One book you wish had been written?

The book my best friend is always hassling me to write.

7) One book you wish had never been written?

The Celestine Prophecy - highly, highly overrated. So they are making it into a movie.

Oh, oh - even better! Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus!! One of my best friends mind-tricked me into reading it. I yelled "oh fuck off" twice on the first page, and I threw it across the room by page 5. At that point, I had some kind of vendetta against the book and was hell-bent on finishing it. Don't make the same mistake.

8) One book you are reading currently?

Me Talk Pretty One Day, David Sedaris. I've been meaning to get to the collected oeuvres of Mr. Sedaris and checked out a few of them during my last visit to my public library. I am loving this collection of autobiographical short stories. Sedaris' tales of learning French are fantastiques!

9) One book you have been meaning to read?

Footprint: South India. I finally ordered a guidebook to South India because I need to get serious re: planning. Things have been so crazybusy. 7 weeks to go? Whoah.

This is the part where I'm supposed to tag peoples. Let's go with the A's: archana, ads, ashvin, and a n n a.

Manifest Destiny*

My Halloween costume of choice wouldn't have taken much effort: I wanted to have a basket of things (candy, maybe?) that I would pass out, wait a few minutes and then gather back up.

Yup, I wanted to go as an Indian giver.

Two co-workers gently tried to tell me that I'm "um, ... not ... that ... kind... of..." Like I don't know!!

Jay-Z was horrified and told me that if I followed through, she would dissociate herself from me. She went so far as to say that she would claim that she "didn't know that cracker." I tried to insist on at least being called a whole-wheat cracker. Her response was, "Oh you've never been called 'cracker' by a white girl?? Yeah, that's what just happened!"

So, my "costume" was offensive, but her response is copacetic?

I think you can guess what I'll be wearing next Halloween.

^* Mikie came into my office saying "What is it? Not Roosevelt corollary. Not Monroe Doctrine....." I immediately knew what he was talking about. When I said, "Uh, manifest destiny?", he looked immensely relieved. Working amongst geeks (techie, wordsmith, and more) is the best.

All aboard!

Weekend update being posted late, late Thursday - wow, if it was much later it would actually meld into the weekend.

Thursday That's right - the weekend starts on Thursday if I say it does! And any time the fabulous Chai comes for a visit, it is a special occasion! Chai expressed some trepidation about driving to my place, so she took CalTrain! How fun is that? I live two blocks from the train station and don't take it often enough. I listened for the whistle and walked up to meet her. As you know, I eat strictly from the Trader Joe's food group, so we headed there and picked up some goodies: olives stuffed with jalapenos, baguette, chevre. Dinner was just what I wanted - gabbing over a cluster of small bowls of antipasti, while Gia scoped out her Auntie Chai. I'm so thrilled to have her local for a little while!

Friday We celebrate the birfday of one of my favoritest people. (In fact, my two closest friends have the same bday - how conVEEENient!) The crew gathered at Double Dutch for some beverages and for some shakeage of the boot-ay on the dance floor. Some friends may have had more on the beverages side, some make have done more of the shakeage, and some friends may have been overtimin' it on both. We'll say no more, as it has been adequately discussed in other places.

I went to bed every single night my parents were here, and I thought I'd be compensating with some very late nights after they left. Not so much. Driving to the city, as much as I want to hang with la brim , what I really wanted was to curl up in my own bed and read a book. Maybe light a candle. I headed home early and did just that.

Saturday Bridge School Benefit! I met up with coworkers to see this superfantastic concert for a good cause. Stream-of-consciousness: Death Cab for Cutie - all indie and "Soul Meets Body", Trent Reznor - hawt and working outside his comfort zone because of the acoustic nature of the concert, Brian Wilson - surprisingly, the Beach Boy had the crowd up on its feet and dancing, Pearl Jam - R kept yelling for "Buttermint!!" and Eddie obliged, I relived every dorm party of my first year of university in 3 minutes, Dave Matthews Band - has never really done very much for me (sorry, roonie!) Neil Young kept it "Rockin' in the Free World." The concert truly was a great experience and I may blog about it later (ha!)

I spent 8 hours at Shoreline Amphitheater. It was probably 7 before I found out that the lawn is non-smoking! This is after sneezing every 5 minutes and rubbing my eyes red. Aargh. Even with that (and ensuing phone sex voice the next day), I am planning to organize a gathering for this concert next year.

Sunday The day o' celebratin' the Best Friend's bday. First, we went to Target. I know, right?? Why is she enabling my addicition? Then we went for dim sum. Then we hung out at her house and talked about nearly-impending baby. I pretended not to be hurt that she and her husband decided not to go with [maisnon] as the baby's name.

Then, up to the city to take brimful out for HER birthday. (Lots of eating in the name of births!) First, we walked around and enjoyed the Indian (feathers, not dot) summer in the city. I had been lamenting the fact that I have a gigantic head and can't wear hats. I try to say it is the hair, but really it may just be that I have a freakishly large noggin. I even yelled "HEEEED! PANTS!" in my best Scottish Brogue. I found a hat that fit me! (Shut UP about it being an extra-large!)

B and I then hit the so-called "crack shack" to watch episodes of Lost. She hated on Jack while I tried to defend him. (His self-righteousness is insufferable; I'm hoping he is a more balanced character this season.) My love for the show is waning. As I put it to a friend recently: 1st season - amazing ++, 2nd season - less good, 3rd season - thus far, more worser.

Yeah. So a lot happened over the weekend. Every day had a touch of sweetness - a moment of connection and warmth. Friday's was seeing my homeboy at "my" parking garage, Saturday's was bonding over my choice of water with the chiquita searching my bag at the concert, Sunday's was reading sidewalk graffiti with b. ("Mr. Seahorse knows that men can have babies." Indeed.)

How Soon is Now?

There is an exhibit at SFMOMA that has had me thinking for days. British artist Phil Collins (um, not that Phil Collins) went to Istanbul and videotaped people karaoking to the songs of The Smiths. The exhibit is called dünya dinlemiyor, Turkish for “the world will not listen.”

As you’d expect some of the performances are just hilarious – combining drunken enthusiasm, non-native English, and less than pitch-perfection. But even the most drunken has a sweetness about it. He finishes his act and grins boyishly - brown curls flopping into his eyes - at someone off camera, stage left. Another performance to Oscillate Wildly is an interpretive dance of awkwardly flailed elbows and lankiness. Who looks utterly serious when doing “karaoke” to a song with no words? (So serious, in fact, that at times he bites his lips in concentration.) When he is done, he stares directly into the camera, defiant and proud, a striking counterpoint to his dancing. Two drunken (?) girls more interested in their dancing than the lyrics. A slightly sweaty guy shot in an extremely unflattering super-closeup. The guy who muddled his way through Bigmouth by yelling the chorus, and mumbling the rest. The would-be David Bowie, shirt unbuttoned, flowers sticking out of his backpocket (??) who pranced around with one hand high in the air.

I think I’m moved by how unguarded and genuine they are. Two girls, school friends I presume, sing There is a Light That Never Goes Out. During the chorus, their eyes close as they blissfully sing “to die by your side/ is such a heavenly way to die/if a ten-tonne truck kills the both of us/ to die by your side/well, the pleasure and the privilege is mine.” It reminds me of sleepovers, and listening to the radio to sing into the ends of hairbrushes.

Later on, I think about how or why the works of the Smiths are known in Turkey. It makes me feel like the experience in the U.S. is so proscribed: I can’t imagine us ever really getting into non-English music. I can think of a few, limited examples - such as the odd Tunak Tunak virus, and maybe some Spanish cross-over type stuff. And how sad that is – in many ways, most Americans do not feel their place in the world (or, at least, how small it is.)

I drove home singing along with The Queen is Dead, delighted and charmed – one small star in a vast universe.

55 Fiction Friday: Writers' Block edition

Friday just beats the clock.

Sometimes the words don’t come – dammed up like a …. damm. Everything sounds so trite, formulaic and over-wrought. The very process of trying to achieve “flow” seems to result in cognitive constipation. The mind seems to go blank – an utterly windless day while you sit in a sailboat. No secrets to whisper to the page.

A highway with no one on it

Telling some story of my recent parental visit, I was stopped in my tracks when my newish friend said "I haven't met them, but I get the impression that you have your father's personality." In many, many respects, newish friend is right on the money - that's not what took me aback. It was the very fact of his rightness - to have someone figure even a small detail out was disconcerting.

It's not the first time I've noticed that reaction. It's not that my friend is of the newish variety - I am disturbed by insights into my personality, etc. provided by strangers and by close friends.

It's the most human impulse in the world: the yearning to be known and understood, to be appreciated for who you are. And yet, allowing that kind of contact and knowledge leaves you vulnerable. And that's how I feel at those moments: like I am exposing my soft underbelly.

I don't think it is that I don't want to be understood - in fact, I know that isn't true. If I could have things perfectly my way (ha!), friends (and only friends) would slide their observations in obliquely - a thin layer of butter in the croissant dough that allows it to rise and crisp.

To quote the indomitable G.I. Joe, "knowing is half the battle." Now that I see it and have named it (and blogged it), maybe I can move away from experiencing it quite so viscerally. I would hope that in the future, I'll be able to acknowledge what I'm feeling right away and remember that it's okay to be known, that - inevitably - it's a two-way street.

[Delayed Blogging] The Parental Visit - Sunday

Sunday, I took my parents to the big bad city for dim sum! Mikey, oodie extraordinaire, recommended Lucky Fortune, and he's never steered me wrong yet. (And the name just reeks authenticity, doesn't it?) Members of the crew joined us - I shouldn't be the only one entertained by my parents hijinks.

Examples: My dad kicked me out of my chosen seat next to Sobriquette so that he could talk to my friends because he "can talk to [me] anytime." Nice. I had some kind of an elbow war with my mother - to the amusement of SJM and oodles. But, seriously, she was going to totally take me out! Seven of us stuffed to the gills, $40 tab. Honestly. Why haven't the browns latched on to dim sum yet? (We even had food to take home!)

I took my parents on a meandering tour of SF, culminating in my intended neighborhood - Bernal Heights. (I'm also flirting with Mission Dolores, but what happens on movoto stays on movoto.) So yeah - what I now know about my mother: she *hates* driving on hills. We were driving down a babyish hill and she freaked out. (Kind of made me glad I didn't take her to some of the more "breath-taking" hills in SF!) We walked around and took in the annual Fiesta on the Hill. We went to two open houses - one was so awful that my father, after careful consideration, decided that if the house was given to him gratis, he would accept it.

We drove back to the Peninsula and I became more and more snappish. I am not secretive re: needing alone time. This visit, thus far, not a lot of alone time. I ended up taking a "nap" - i.e. a way to sleep in my own bed (as opposed to my" hugely comfortable, but still not my bed" couch) and to get some alone time. We went to a family friend's house for dinner. These people, and some of the guests, have known my parents since their Stanford days. Because I didn't grow up with family nearby, it's always a trip to see these people who look and act so different from my family, but still have stories of me as a baby (and, as I realise now, tales of my parents at my age - OR YOUNGER! My mother was 26 when she had me.)

I've hit the [couch] every night before 10 pm, but I'm exhausted. It takes a lot of energy to be "on" all the time - and that's what I feel I have to do. Maybe just because this is the first visit? One more day, and a pre-dawn trip to OAK and my parents winged their way back to DC.

[Delayed blogging] The Parental Visit - Saturday

Maybe spending many hours in the car with your parents isn't such a brilliant idea. Translation: hindsight is 20/20.

I took my parents to Monterey to visit the world famous aquarium. I was determined to drive at least part of the way on Rt. 1 (aka the PCH.) Saturday was the Half Moon Bay Pumpkin festival, aka clusterscrew traffic-wise - so we headed down Woodside/84. I last drove that road as a summer associate, i.e. over 2 years ago. Weird.

Lunch was hilarious. We had Chinese (my mom's favorite.) I ordered a tofu dish and the waitress explained that Chinese tofu is different from Indian tofu - jigga wha? She meant paneer. Oddly, she kept explaining things to me about Chinese food for the rest of the meal. I turned to my mother and said "Of the three of us, I look like I'm fresh off the boat??" As she cleared the table, my dad said a few sentences in Cantonese (one of the benefits of being Malaysian, I guess.) I managed to say "thank you" in Mandarin and she fawned all over me "Oh! You know CHINESE! That's so good!!" My dad, of course, wondering if he was chopped liver, asked if she knew Cantonese. Apparently, she does - she just straight dissed him.

The aquarium was superfantastic. Watching the sea creatures - fish, anemones, jellyfish - was utterly relaxing. The jellyfish, lit from underneath in fantastical colors, were a modern art exhibit. What was *not* relaxing was the crowd. I'd like to take a mental health day during the week and check it out. (My mom commented on how many Indian people there were - totally true. A lot of them were South Indian. And assumed that no one else could understand them.)

A long day, but worth it. I can still see the school of silverygold anchovies swimming in synch, the kelp moving slowly like underwater tai-chi.

[Slightly-delayed] Blogging the Parental Visit - Friday

I had threatened my parents with being marched through my entire office - and I followed through! They met most of the people I work with, saw the cafe, kitchens, etc. etc. They like to ask me about the minutiae of my life (like where I shop for groceries) so I thought they'd enjoy it.

Along the tour, we ran into a trial team that was celebrating having just submitted a motion by popping open a bottle of wine. One of the associates seemed really embarassed that my parents had caught them at it - which is funny since she is a mother herself. I wonder if other people's parents are always seen as "the cops." My dad had a nice chat with the partner about anti-trust and economics - all while the partner sipped wine out of a paper cup.

There were a few more hi-jinks, including my mom and I have a giggling fit while my dad sort of argued with a coworker as to where in Kerala my poor colleague had vacationed. As soon as my parents left, people started swinging by to tell me how little my mom is - yup, I've noticed. She can stand under my chin.

I took them to Shiva's in Mountain View for dinner, and we were all safely tucked in by 9:00 p.m.