Thursday, June 29, 2006

Nightgrinder

My favorite part: My dentist hovered over me, eyebrows creased with concern, announced that I had started grinding my teeth and asked, "Is there anything stressful in your life?"

It may not have been polite to laugh that heartily with his face only inches away. He started laughing too and said, "I love asking that question - everyone always responds the same way. Unless you're living in a small Mexican fishing village, everyone's life has stress."

.........

The news that I'm grinding my teeth at night has left me feeling oddly....broken. I think it scares me that I may be so out of touch with myself that I am manifesting anxiety in this visceral, physical way. That there might be this whole cistern of unhappiness that only seeps out at night.

For now, I am popping anti-inflammatories (my cheeks are quite round enough without the puffiness, thank you!) and using a nightguard. (My rockstar dentist decided to just make one for me because sending it to the lab would take too long.)

.........

I seem to have taken yet-another unplanned hiatus from ze blog. As usual, the hiatus does not indicate nothing to write about, but rather too much. I see myself as an old-time telephone operator, eyes scanning the switchboard for little pinpricks of light. My fingers are flying as fast as they can, and yet, that's the easy part. I am considering the unconsiderable - looking at the clay and asking it to speak to me. Will I be quiet enough to hear it?

2 comments:

Rob said...

when my son was born last year my grandmother came to visit and she kept saying, "this is what we call a Bruxer, a big solid Bruxer". After she left I looked up the word: 'someone who habitually and involuntarily grinds their teeth'.
Somewhat inappropriate for a newborn.

tamasha said...

This:
The news that I'm grinding my teeth at night has left me feeling oddly....broken. I think it scares me that I may be so out of touch with myself that I am manifesting anxiety in this visceral, physical way. That there might be this whole cistern of unhappiness that only seeps out at night
is exactly my problem.