rush for the change of atmosphere

I thought I would have this rush of energy and action after I quite my job. I mean, this wasn't a decision that snuck on me. I went through many phases, including what I called the "if I learned how to ski, I could be a ski instructor" phase. (Translation for those who don't me: absolutely, friggin' flailing about what I wanted to do next. Considering leaving The Law. Because, seriously, it takes more than a basic understanding of how to ski to become a ski instructor!) I thought that by committing to not doing this anymore, the "what happens next" would flow.

That was definitely my experience the last time I quit my job. Way back in 2000, I quit my job and within a week I had .... pruned the friendship tree, stopped seeing the guy I wasn't see anyway, acquired the beautiful Ms. Gia, and ... decided to take the LSATs and apply to law school. (And that decision definitely snuck up on me.) It was all just the most natural thing in the world - each of those thoughts and actions came to me so seamlessly - like bubbles rising to the surface of water.

So, I quit and I waited for the wave. And ... I'm still waiting. I have a good sense of what I want to do, but it seems, no "get up and go" to get it done anytime soon. And, I have to accept where I am. I've often found myself to be very objective-driven, and respecting the process often galls me. Thankfully, I'm old enough now to find my patterns and predilections amusing more than anything else. And right now, in this exact moment, I have to respect that I still have some processing, clearing, synthesizing, other action verb-ing to do before I'm ready to launch in another direction. I am the field lying fallow.