Monday, June 20, 2005

NB: "This is the goddamn [insert veggie you hate] of Bar preparation"

I think all Bar-prep types are in the doldrums. This is really the tea-time of the soul. Neither the excitement and "newness" of the beginning of Bar study (yes - once and for all, we've established that I am a geek extraordinaire), nor the crunch-time of having the end in sight.

I've taken it upon myself to tell you that WE'RE EXACTLY WHERE WE NEED TO BE. I know that it's very, very hard right now. I'm sick of finding YET ANOTHER area that "needs work." But, you know what, this is the time that counts. It's where you put aside the urge to weep (yes, I've considered crying over Property. I didn't because I realised that it just wouldn't help. Trust me, if it would - even a little bit - I'd cry hot tears over it.)

So, what to do? (In)congruously, I remember my marathon training. Specifically, I remember my coach telling me that when it is the very hardest to continue, pick up the pace. It's counterintuitive - but it really works. It shakes up your little system, it takes you a little further, and you can find a second (or third, or fourth) wind. Having a productive study session will motivate you SO MUCH. Promise a productive hour and be proud of yourself when you make it.

Be good to yourself - take some time off. That probably sounds crazy, especially considering the ever-lengthening list of things to "review" (is it still review when, apparently, you never learned it in the first place?) Trust me, taking an evening off and truly enjoying yourself, indulging yourself even, will put you in a much better headspace to get your ish done.

Have faith in yourself. You've come really, really far and done SO MUCH to be here. In the words of Papa Smurf, not much further my little smurfs!

Finally, don't be afraid. I think that's the root of procrastination, at least for me. (If I don't do it, then I didn't fail at it, and there's still a chance that I'll do it and maybe even do it well.) Face your fear and write the damn essay (clearly, a note to self), read the long outline on Future Interests. Don't be scared, you really do have the time. Take it one little step, one little issue at a time. It's much, much better to address your weak points NOW, rather than having that sick feeling in your stomach hoping and praying that they won't be on the exam.

Take heart, it's hard now, but everyone is in the same place with you. Take a moment to breathe, and then get in there and KICK SOME ASS!


Chai said...

Maisnon!! I swear, you must have read my mind. While running today, for the first time in a month, I kept going back to my months of marathon training. I kept telling myself, "You need to be your own cheerleader." I heard my coaches, friends, and co-workers telling me that I was amazing, how training works, and how to keep motivated.

Today has been hard. Hit a wall, had an mental/emotional breakdown, and went running. I have learnt so many precious life lessons from running and today was no exception.

i wanted to blog about this. i wanted to share my thoughts and I will tomorrow. But before going to sleep, I checked my community of bloggers and read your entry. Amazing.

Glad to see that someone else is on my wave length.

Chai said...

p.s. thank you for your wise words.

breathe...slow down...and prepare. the mantra for the next few weeks.

jm said...

Every inspirational post needs a few words from Papa Smurf. :)

eve said...

Thank you soooo much for sharing this. This is totally what I needed to read right now! So much of this process is a psychological hurdle... I'll be able to to get so much further once I realize that and move on! :)
Thanks again for sharing!!

Roonie said...

"If I don't do it, then I didn't fail at it, and there's still a chance that I'll do it and maybe even do it well."

You are one of the few people that understands "studying anxiety." It's that fear that prevents me from moving forward...even though it's not a test, it's just *studying*. I love that you understand.

This was a great post. Chai, I've been thinking about going running again too (it's been awhile for me...since before graduation), because I feel like I just need to get back to the basics of all of this. Take myself back to square one and refresh.

I am probably the biggest stresser of us all, but yesterday, this calm took over me. It was this acceptance that I know I don't understand things now that I will in by the end of July. And I think everything's gonna be okay if I calm down, tuck my head down, and keep plugging away.

I'm rambling. Lovely post, Maisnon.