- I am walking somewhere as a means of transportation, or to enjoy the day - NOT hoping to meet and/or talk to you. I will start out polite, but cold....and get colder.
- In fact, I don't owe you a conversation, or anything else. Yelling won't help. Calling me a racist, a bitch, etc. might make me laugh (at you.) But, oh, I still won't owe you anything.
- Don't hit on/leer at me while you're picking your nose. That's right, your finger has broken the close of your nostril - you're now picking your nose. That's hot.
- Don't tell me about how "you knew this Indian girl once." Do you think I feel closer to you? I don't. There are a billion people in India, never mind the whole diaspora.
- Similarly, any line that starts out "Yo, Indian girl"... Pat and I still laugh about it 5 years later - not the desired effect, I'm sure.
- Shower, not shower in cologne. Enough said.
- If you are 2.5 times what you THINK my age is - what are you thinking? We can't all be Tom Cruise, you know.
- When the line "I see you in school 'cuz you got books, what time you get off school?" tripped off your tongue so easily, I wondered how many high school girls you've been trying to chat up. Seriously - gross.
- This may be a DC thing: do not hiss/suck teeth/make kissy sounds at me. Trust me, this doesn't make me want to get any nearer your creepiness.
- When I tell you to take a picture because it will last longer, don't look affronted - you're the one who's given me the elevator look 3 times.
- Construction workers, et al. - wow, you must really think you're the Big Man. Don't be surprised if I channel my inner Miranda and talk to you/yell back. Kinda funny how the Big Man looks so creeped out when I yell, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
- Please don't chat me up while your girlfriend/wife is in the same aisle of the grocery store. It only makes me really sad for her.
- I just find it funny when you try and hide your left hand. I know you're married, but don't worry - I wouldn't go out with you even if you weren't.
- Do NOT hit on me when I'm with my mom. I'll be less harsh, it's true, but it still won't make a difference. I have an entire lexicon of "looks causing death." As my friend Rick once said, I can make your blood stop and reverse directions with a glance.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
To the would-be Romeos
Posted by maisnon at 8:11 AM