Monday, June 13, 2005

Violently happy

If I were a Little Miss book, I'd be Little Miss Crankypants (amazingly, NOT one of the titles in that series.)

Nothing major, but I've had a series of mini-disappointments, that have accumulated into the feeling that a dark star is trailing me. So much so, in fact, that my luck infected my entire BarBri class today - our tape was defective, so we had to do an emergency switch to CD.

A friend informed me today that I'm being self-centred thinking that the dark star belongs to just me - apparently everyone (even non-BarBri types) is having a hard time of it right now. She said something about the moon being in the wrong house, or something. (Yeah, neither of us know anything about astrology.)

For some reason, I thought back to first year: I felt like the luckiest girl in the world - in fact, I signed a series of emails with that title. And I still am. I went back and read those emails, full of how freakin' incredible I was finding law school, and how lucky I felt to be there. I still feel that way at times (these moments are few and far between, but still.) I had a moment in today's class where I just looked around and realized how close I am to the end of the long water slide (twists and turns, and some more twists and turns) that has been law school.

Just as noting a few mini-disappointments can lead to the funk, reminding myself how lucky I am to be in my position, and noting the good things in life should get me out.


shell said...

Horray for the semi-confused self-realization Hallmark moment.

No, really...I'm glad that there's nice moments where you can think of something that keeps you going even though you know it's going to be more tedious long battle ahead (aka bar exam).

*Imagining maisnon yelling "WHAT? There's MORE things to do AFTER the 3 years of hell I've gone through?"*

Chai said...

i do that past emails/journal entries of happier, enjoying times. hey, the stress is with everyone, as you duly noted, and you have so much going for you.

thinking positive is the key to staying sane right now.

thats my mr.phil-ness for today.

Heather said...

it's funny how we have vitually opposite views on law school, but i dig your vibe. the year before law school (which was also the year after college) was hands-down the happiest time in my life, so i like to think that's what next year will be like. when i get sad i just call my old work buddies and they cheer me up. :)

jm said...

I can confirm the dark star is trailing me today. I just feel like I'm treading water, not getting anywhere.

I was supposed to get together with some ladies from school yesterday, to commiserate about their first day of BarBri for the WA bar. They all bailed b/c they were too overwhelmed with the schedule they're facing. Guess the dark star is trailing them too.

Roonie said...

Are you and Heather in the same class or did the same thing happen to you both?

Kelly said...

Have you seen this?

I made Little Miss Stresscase a couple of months ago. She was a little yellow star with a sassy pink bow and a round "O" for a mouth. Perfectly expressed how I was feeling. And kind of how I'm feeling now for that matter.

maisnon said...

Kelly - that was AWESOME! Little Miss Crankypants LIVES! ;)

my detritus said...

gonna cry. i forgot all about that sweet little girl and her aspirations. i no longer want a time machine to smother her in her sleep.