I have been accused of holding myself to overly-high standards. What this means is that I will often do things that I think are the right thing to do for that reason alone. I may not want to do them – but it is the right thing to do. This isn’t a fear of what other people think (because usually I just don’t care – I’m a founding member of the Partnership Against Guilt), but a weird matrix of moral obligations I’ve created for myself.
I finally got out of my own damn way. I’ve been hemming and hawing and wondering why I wasn’t excited about my “planned” vacation – going to a law school friend’s wedding in Ireland. And by “planned” I mean that I told her I was going, but have been procrastinating and procrastinating when it comes to booking tickets or accommodations, etc. I know why I wasn’t excited about going. It wasn’t the wedding, it was afterwards: Ireland just doesn’t seem like a fun place to explore by yourself. I’d asked a few people if they wanted to tour around, and nothing ever quite worked out. I’ve traveled by myself before, and I’m usually up for it. But not this time.
What I wanted to do for my post-Bar trip: go to Costa Rica for a few weeks and attend an immersion Spanish program. What I ended up doing: revamping my condo with my dad to put it on the market. Looking at my GMail account, I have a tag for Costa Rica and all the emails I sent out last year re: immersion programs - I had even flagged two schools as being at the top of my list.
When the proverbial lightbulb goes on, it is a brilliant, shining beacon. Once I accepted that I was NOT “going to do the right thing” and go to the wedding, I knew what I wanted. I emailed the two schools I was interested in to see if they had availability during my desired dates. That night, I voraciously consumed my Lonely Planet. The next day, I heard back from both schools, chose one, and booked airfare.
That’s right – in 2 days, I planned my entire trip.
I’ll be in Costa Rica for the last two weeks of August – actually, I’ll have 3 weekends and 2 weeks there. I’m going to school in Arenal and Dominical. I’m so excited my fingertips are tingling.