Saturday, July 08, 2006

équilibre

I've often seen life as a juggling act (or, possibly, plate spinning.) At any time, there is the friends & family ball, the career/school ball, finances ball, mental/physical/emotional health ball, etc. You try to keep them all up in the air at the same time - but from time to time, one falls and needs extra attention. Maybe just dusting off, maybe KrazyGlue or more dramatic repairs.

And occasionally, they all fall down (and crank you in the noggin as they succumb to gravity's sweet seduction.) You're dazed, looking at all these balls rolling in different directions and wondering which one to pick up first. Should there be some kind of triage? Maybe deal with the one that would be easiest to repair? The one that is the most cracked?

With enough fire drills, you come up with a plan that works for you, a kick-start to getting the balls brushed off and back in the air. It becomes an almost familiar procedure, and comforting in its routine and its guaranteed results - return to juggle-mania. An auto-reset button.

Unfortunately, eventually, the kick-start button stops working.

Not surprisingly, that's where I am (and where I've been - hello, Lack of Posting - Population: ME!) The little tricks and manoeuvres I usually use to get things going again aren't working. My bag of tricks is still a bag, but it's not so much doing the trick. And when you're trying to cope with what you perceive as disappointments in a lot of different arenas, it's hard to be creative and open enough to come up with new ways to get back up to speed.

2 comments:

Roonie said...

You see, I love how you put things into words. I've been feeling the same...but just can't say it so eloquently.

roopali said...

sometimes it's easier not to keep all the balls up in the air at once? i've always found it impossible to keep the juggling act straight, and have succumbed to the fact that i can only keep two or three in the air, with the rest on the ground. what i'm saying is, maybe it's not necessarily about figuring out a way to keep them all up at once, but finding a way of being ok with putting some of them down.