Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Soda Pop (& Pony Boy)

I've never had a soda in my life. My parents never gave it to me when I was young, and now just the smell of it makes me nauseous. I went through a period of time where I tried to train myself (with Welch's grape soda) to get over it. The "soda boot camp" was less than successful: I was never able to take more than three sips.

At lunch on Monday, for some odd reason, I revealed to my lunchmates that I've never had a Twinkietm. (It doesn't seem possible, but it was topical.) After we finished lunch, they insisted on walking over to the little market and buying me one. (They also purchased a selection of Ho-Hostm and Ding Dongs tm.) Walking back to work, I broke off a bite and tried it.

That shit is nasty, yo.

I'm a texture eater, and the texture was horrifying. (I'm a taste eater, too - and the taste was equally grosso.) Cloyingly sweet inner glue surrounded by vaguely greasy, sponge-y yet crumble-y "cake." I'm getting grossed out all over again thinking about it.

Well, at least now I can say that I've tried a Twinkie! Next thing you know, coffee!


chai said...

wow, you've never had coffee?? even though i don't drink coffee, i've tried it. in india, it seems like you HAVE to drink it. that or chai.

yes, twinkies AND soda is nast.

i like to sleep...and eat... said...

Soda boot camp? Are you kidding me? You're the funniest EVA!

And yeah, Twinkies are nasty. Ho-hos and Ding-Dongs are also gross as heck. I didn't have any Hostess "cake" products (I use that description loosely) until I was an adult. After years of looking longingly at ads for Twinkies on the back page of Archie comics, I was disappointed when I first bit into what amounts to nothing more than packing foam with shaving cream inside. Except that the shaving cream would probably have an actual flavor.

brimful said...

Fine, you don't like Twinkie's and carbonated beverages. But Hostess chocolate cupcakes kind of rock.

maisnon said...

chai: Actually, I have had coffee - I've been to Costa Rica, after all! But, I've had, in total, probably about 5 sips. And I drink it like a child: about 8 parts milk to 2 parts coffee!

brimful: I don't care what you say, it's be a looooooong-ass time before another Hostess product crosses these lips.

ILTSAE: YES! Shaving cream! Not that I've ever tried eating it - but that seems like the right consistency. Ick!