Wednesday, September 27, 2006

La Meme Chose

So, I've been tagged. Apparently, I am to share with the Internets ten (10) of my secrets. I take issue with this. Do they not, by the very nature of being shared, lose their secret quality?

(A legal education makes a person insufferable.)

(1) When I was a wee kid, I thought there were two ways to become pregnant. You either had sex with someone, or you "slept with them." Sleeping with someone only worked if you were not married to the person. (Think about it: no one ever says that people who are married slept together.) Moral: spending your wee childhood in France and then moving to the U.S. leaves you with some f'd up theories.

(2) I can't drink soda. My parents never gave it to me and now even the smell makes me nauseous. I consider it a mark of friendship for people to remember that I don't drink soda. It cracks me up that, after over 10 years of friendship, my best friend still occasionally asks me if I want a Coke. (She always pauses and then says "Wait, you don't drink soda." Ah, ritual.)

(3) I've experienced love at first sight. And it was amazing.

(4) I was vegetarian from the age of 15 through 23. At 15, I volunteered at the National Institutes of Health. One of the things I had to do was "collect mouse mesentery cells." Trust me, that task was incompatible with eating meat. As time went on, meat become more and more weird to me - even the smell bothered me towards the end. Then, one day when I was 23 a friend was having some chicken, and I helped myself. I was not very healthful about being vegetarian (hello! I was in college) I was not getting anywhere near enough protein. So, I started eating meat again, but no red meat. That has been my rule until now (as I like to say "no hoof", for those who really think that "Pork is the Other White Meat") Weirdly, lately I've been experimenting more and more with red meat. I doubt it will ever be a favorite, but I may start eating it in earnest. I never thought I'd see the day.

(5) My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. They're like, 'It's better than yours.' Damn right, it's better than yours. I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.

(6) I have lived without a TV for fourteen (14) years. It happened kind of accidentally - didn't have one in college (cable was too expensive), and intended to buy one for my new apartment. After some snafus with Best Buy, I realized that I didn't need one. I think that I read more, go out more, etc. than I would if I had one.

I'm sort of cheating these days as I have Netflix (and I'm obsessed.) I sometimes watch TV shows on DVD. I'm not sure how people can watch a serial show in little 1/2 hour (Lost) or one hour (24) bites. That would drive me nuts!

(7) When I was in college, I wore combat boots every single day. Or pretty close to it. Mmmm... Canadian issue, 10-hole, pebble finish. They were the only shoes that seemed to stand up to snow, salt, etc. Plus, I was experimenting/rejecting what people told me I should look like. I had supershort (what I called "George Clooney") hair. I stopped removing body hair. I crushed up eyeshadow and made lipstick (for example, electric blue.) Honestly, I've never been hotter or been a hotter commodity. Since college, I have become much "girl-ier." I am religious about eyebrow shaping and pedicures (as anyone who reads this blog knows.) I always wore makeup, and now I can afford the really good 'ish if I want it, etc. etc. I feel I can be both now: I can arch my perfectly shaped eyebrow while I tell you off about your anti-feminist agenda.

(8) I love a lot of really, really bad movies. In fact, I may do a secret shame post on them. ("Earth Girls Are Easy" anyone?) This is especially embarassing since I'm such a cinephile.

(9) I don't always wear underwear. It's not really necessary with a lot of things (and it's a great way to avoid VPL. Not that I give a damn about VPL.) My mother would be horrified, horrified to (a) know this secret, and (b) that I shared it with the internet. At my last job before law school, I designed a week's worth of outfits that I could wear without underwear. This is some kind of statement about how unhappy I was there.

(10) I'm more than a little afraid of water. (Not in a rabid, hydrophobia sort of way.) I don't like to swim in the ocean. Conceiving of the amount of water, not being able to touch the bottom, etc. makes me feel claustrophobic and like I can't breathe. It's a mental thing. Sometimes, even the deep end of the pool can freak me out. At the same time, being on the beach at night is where I feel closest to the divine.

Tag, tag - you're it: if you read this far and feel like doing it.


cookiemonsta said...

you don't wear undewear? Scandalous!!

roonie said...

I was a part of this meme-making process, so you already know that I am in awe of your non-underwear-wearing ways, and I am also on board with your "sleep means sleep...doesn't it?" child interpretation of making babies. You crack me up with your milkshake, Kelis.

I like to eat...and sleep said...

You know what the song milkshake is about? Seriously.

I only found out when a friend mocked me for wanting to buy a shirt with the quote on it.

Though, how was I supposed to know?

maisnon said...

peeps! - I wear underwear sometimes, I'd even go so far as to say most times. Just sometimes ... not.