Having discussed the "Inner Macy" program I instituted a few years ago with a few online friends, I decided it was worthy of a post.
I think the project started when Macy Gray was really popular, which sort of puts it in a time frame. A friend was at the tail end of a really horrendous relationship that had sapped her self esteem and her ability to believe in herself. I'm not sure what it is, and maybe men do it too, but I feel like my female friends (and me!) are ever so willing to engage in really negative self-talk. If someone walked up to a friend and said 1/10th of the negative things I say to myself, I'd punch him/her right in the kisser. And yet, I do it to myself.
So, here are the rules:
Rule 1: Stop speaking negatively to yourself. If you wouldn't say it to a friend, don't say it to yourself. Every time you catch yourself saying something negative, just stop.
Rule 2: Build yourself up whenever you can. Notice the small things that you do well. Think on past successes. If needed or helpful, solicit positivity from friends.
Rule 3: Look good, feel good. It's easier to feel good about yourself when you feel like you look good. (This may mean using the Cherry Chapstick instead - ooooh, indulgent!)
Rule 4: Take more risks. This may seem out of place, but one of the best ways to feel competent and capable is to try something new. Even if you don't (entirely) succeed - at least you made the attempt!
This post may seem a little ... PollyAnna Sunshine, self-help-y, but (1) that's kinda who I really am (well, the parts that aren't 110% snark), and (2) I feel like a lot of people are in a phase/place where they may need to hear it.
(Alternatively titled, "You must not know about me")