Sunday, May 06, 2007

mirror mirror

(1) My dentist (jokingly) offered to beat someone up for me;
(2) My personal trainer asked me if I've ever been to a strip club;
(3) The sweetest boy in all the land (never an unkind word about anyone) told me that he thinks we are incredibly similar.

The first two statements had some, um, context (but not enough to remove the 'stun' factor.) The last, I could blame on his mango margarita - but I don't think it's quite that. He followed up with, "Well, or you say the things I want to say."

Ah yes, THAT.

Recent events have caused me to re-examine how I come off at first impression. I've heard the word "intimidating" more often than I'd like to admit. At the same time, when I meet someone new and they end up telling me that I am HILARIOUS, I cringe on the inside. That means that in my nervousness and insecurity, I have shifted into crazed stand-up comic mode. I can be really funny, but when you're getting all "A-game" material, it's because I'm uncomfortable.

Where is the middle ground? To what extent are any of us truly ourselves when meeting people? I wish it weren't so hard.


KT said...

I can absolutely relate to this feeling. I have been to many a social event where I have been introduced as "my absolutely hilarious friend KT."...and the pressure to perform and live up to that begins.

I walk away from those nights feeling like I put on a great show, and worrying if I lived up to the expectation.

I think the solution is to stop being so hard on ourselves, to stop examining our every move and just accept who we are and how we behave.

Now if only I can take my own advice...

chick pea said...

i like how you labeled this post navel gazing.. it made me laugh...

Ennis said...

Recent events have caused me to re-examine how I come off at first impression.

Drop dead sexy, of course. Now stop your navel gazing.