Lynx

Do you have any idea how many things I mark in Google Reader with the absolute intention of (1) following up later, and [heh heh] (2) possibly blogging about it?

Yeah, I suck - what can I say?

So, today I bring you 10 5* things that are interesting/funny/or are in some other way check-out-worthy:

1. How to type special characters (esp. helpful for, oh say....typing French accents!) [h/t Lifehacker - which makes up probably HALF of the blogposts I want to come back to later!]
2. Running from Camera - a blog with photos of a guy ... running from the camera. [h/t Photojojo - part of my list of photography feeds. (Also available as a twice-weekly newsletter.) I mean - look at this post about the Monsterpod and Gorillapod! How cool! I'll start taking more and better pix soon, I promise!]
3. How to Turn off Google's Search History [ mmm....the better to GoogleStalk, m'dear. h/t Boing Boing - always .... different.
4. 9 to 5 paintings: created by your mouse while you "work" [h/t kottke ]
5. DonorsChoose - be a philanthropist for $10! [h/t Cool Tools - another site that could make me ever so much more productive if I used it effectively.]

And, a little bonus round, two blogs I'm mad sweatin':

• SpikedChutney - she's spikey, she's chutney... okay, maybe not, but she is local! And hilarious++.
• A simple desultory Phillipic - dreamy, dreamier, dreamiest writing. Check out this post about Espagne (money quote: "Flamenco is to salsa as orgasm is to foreplay.") SWOON!

* It was taking way too damn long to write this!

P.S. - India pix are UP on Flickr! But, um, no idea when I'll get around to captionatizing all 558 of them. Dude, I'm lazy - you know this!

Café, 10 a.m.

• A server swings by carrying Belgian waffles, topped with pecans and whipped butter, smelling like love.
• A toddler smacks empty chairs with a flailing arm and grabs unsuspecting patrons around the knees, craning her neck back to look up the vast expanse of leg. Her mouth forms an "o" of confusion, these jeans are NOT attached to a familiar face!
• A true Silicon Valley type conducts an interview over a banana nut muffin. Bits and pieces of his conversation float through the cafe: "valuation, term sheet, footprint, opportunity, roll-out."
• A couple, dressed in sweats and ballcaps, drink their coffee. There is a tenseness to the skin under their eyes as they stare over each other's shoulders.

..........

The dichotomy between logic and emtion can be cavernous: you can logically analyze a situation, and it won't affect your emotional, gut reaction in the least (and vice versa.)

Recently, I've been feeling a little "woe is me." And I hate that shit. Feeling that way, and typing the words, I feel slightly disgusted with myself. I've kept most of it off of the blog, to the point of not writing, um, at all at times. I have covered some of it by writing positively - not so much to "whitewash" it, but (1) no one likes the whine and (2) to try to buck myself up by focusing on the positive.

I've fallen into a bad pattern of looking forward to things and being sorely disappointed. Big things and small. It's not the individual let-downs that are cause for concern, it's stringing the events together. Logically, I know the universe is not out to get me (and I feel silly even verbalising that thought), but emotionally? Yeah, that's a whole different thing. Life may indeed be not fair (and Logic accepts that), but Emotion? I'm here to tell you that Emotion throws a fit!

One of the truest things I've found is that you can always change direction and try something new. There's some famous quote-type thing like "Stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting to get a different result." Something like that.

One suggested solution has been to lower expectations - but, friends, they are as low as I'm willing to let them go. (They could go lower, I'm sure, but at what point do you just stop getting out of bed in the morning?) The direction I want to try is to stop looking forward so much: to be in this precise moment, here and now. Not so much a lowering of expectations as ... no expectations at all.

55 Fiction Friday: Solitude, desired

Friday makes a (triumphant?) return.

The metallic clicking of your fork against your plate, the sound of your breathing - loud, through your nose - while you chew. I feel my blood pressure rising, a thrumbing in my temples. You're oblivious, enjoying your toast (rye) and eggs (scrambled.)

Chrysalis

To every thing, turn turn turn

There is a season, turn turn turn

And a time for every purpose under heaven

-The Byrds [Ecclesiastes 3:1-8]

Some thoughts and changes sneak up on you, gathering weight and momentum . Others, it seems like, are the headline on page 2 of the newspaper: "Newsflash: This isn't Working, Try Something Else." On occasion, I think this entire blog could be summed up as "Ch-ch-ch-changes (Turn and face the strange ... CHANGES!)" And it annoys me to no end.

But maybe that is life, a series of changes - some incremental, some great, bounding leaps. To be all black turtleneck about it, we begin dying as soon as we are born. (Freaking black turtleneck - I hate that thing!)

So what manner of change am I pontificating about today? Recently, it dawned on me that I am entering a wintry phase. This has nothing to do with the actual season, and is more a reflection on my desire to turn inwards, to some extent - to nest. For however long this phase lasts, I do not want to make external effort. I do not want to call people, or organize things, or make plans, or .... anything. That's not to say that I won't be accepting any of these things, just that - for the time being - the giving side of the operation is going on hiatus.

Ah, winter. I want to read, to work out, to write, to knit, to nap, to take long, blustery walks, to take photos. I remember reading that tulip bulbs must experience a freeze in order to bloom in the spring. That's where I am - I need some kind of isolation and inner focus in order to spring forward.

Fête

It started as a joke (like many traditions, I would think.) As an homage to its joke-y beginnings, every third year or so, it consists of meeting up at a bowling alley. (And I'm a crappy bowler!) Now, it's an opportunity to see (nearly) everyone I know (locally), meet some new people, and watch worlds collide. It's interesting to see which coworkers get along with which friends, see what they vibe about, etc.

Yes, tonight is my birthday par-tay! This year's theme is "My Super Sweet Sixteen - Times Two!" (WTF am I talking about? This year's theme? This is the first year WITH a theme!) As usual, I'm having a little war with myself: I'm starting to get anxious - I want everyone to have a good time, at the same time I think that things will take care of themselves.

I love having one thing I do every year. Pre-lawschool, I used to have a wine-tasting party (and when I feel more settled, I would like to start that up again.) Every year I send out an eVite, and I always try to invite everyone. (This year, I'm feeling a little bad because I forgot my dentist - next year!) It's a weird little check on the drama level in my life: is there anyone I do not want there? Someone I'd rather not see? I'm pleased to say that this year, no one fits that bill. Actually, it's always like that - every year, I invite every (local) person I've ever dated (even the fiascos upon which TBF wants me to base my tragicomic novel), every former coworker in my age range, etc. This is not because I am so great that I rise about the petty grievances -it's because I would really like to see all of them. And, it's guaranteed small doses: while I would not necessarily want to stay up all night chatting with everyone I invite, I would like to catch up with them, find out what is new in their world.

I'm excited, and it's time for me to try and "get into character" with the whole D*I*V*A! thing. Wish me luck :)

Jenga

I visited my high school after I had started college. I stopped my to see Mrs. C., who had been my Geometry, Algebra II, and Calculus teacher, as well as my homeroom teacher. Homeroom was kind of awesome because she had a daughter at a different high school. We would talk about crazy-ass things our parents said or did, and she would get advice about her daughter. Visiting her classroom, I expected to just sort of say, "Hi" and maybe chat with her while the students did some in-class work, or something. Um, nope, she announced that I would be teaching the class about arithmetic and geometric series. She took a seat and kind of smiled and nodded while I stumbled my way through it.

This "blast from the past" is brought to you my thoughts today. I am thinking about patterns and series, coincidences and near-misses. Maybe also Newton's laws: how once a ball is rolling, it seems to keep on moving. Luck and good fortune pile up, and so does the crap. Often, from the right angle, there is a pattern in everything. The hard part is finding that angle: to stare at the picture long enough for the stereogram to emerge. And sometimes, no matter how you try to put the pieces together, the common factor, the design remains inscrutable.

Conjunction

So, two things:

(1) During my trip, I finally (FINALLY) re-connected with my actual, physical journal habit. (So, um, I fulfilled my New Year's resolution in the last week of the year - nice!) However, that has meant not ... connecting with the blog.

(2) I've been a crazy insomniac/jetlagger. I think it's more the former than the latter, simply b/c my sleep "schedule" does not in any way map to sleepy-time in in India. And the non-sleep thing started while I was in India. One thing about insomnia: much like the cold, or any other illness, the person going through it finds it waaaay more fascinating than their friends, and thus bores everyone to tears.

One travel tip: if at all possible, leave for a trip with clean sheets on the bed, one meal in the freezer, and at least a half tank of gas in the car. Little things: Starting work again on Tuesday, I was joyful to see my coworkers again - they are truly phenomenal people, and I'm so lucky to work with them . The guy at Trader Joe's (who I call "my favorite pirate" - after his Halloween costume) remarked on my absence and asked about my trip. Yesterday, after yog-ah!, I went to Cafe Borrone. There, an elderly black lab used crazy voo-doo intense staring to get me to do her bidding: some perfunctory head petting which quickly moved into a full-on belly rub. I drove to the city last night, up the 101 and into the little lights sparkling in the hills. I'm re-connecting, and falling in love with, my life all over again.

Nest

When I was finally, finally back in my apartment, I sort of flitted around touching things. My friend asked me if I was anxious, or stressed - but I wasn't really. I just wanted to commune with my stuff - run my fingers along the spines on the bookshelf, examine the contents of my freezer. I wanted to just run around my apartment, obsessively opening and closing drawers.

It's so nice to have the comforts of home again. To sleep in my bed, to shower in my own bathroom (with access to all of my products!) To walk around in a state of undress (this is a major benefit to living alone, in my opinion.)

I've been enjoying other things, too: getting ice in my drink, driving (and being on the road without total, abject fear of death), talking to friends, and best of all - doing absolutely nothing.

Voicemail

Message waiting for me on my voicemail:

"DAMN! I'm sorry, this is a wrong number - but you suuuuuure sound good"

(For those who have never listened to my voicemail message, it is not in the least interesting - it's a recitation of the digits and a request to leave a message, all left in my "dear god, is my voice really that high????" voice.)

Pondicherry

When I was younger and we traveled as a family, my father at some point on each trip would say "This is it - this is where I'm going to retire." Penang, New Zealand's North Island, Perth, etc. etc. All told, Dad must have chosen 20+ retirement spots (the irony, of course, being that he is retired now. And living in the same Northern VA house my parents have lived in for over twenty years.)

I have found my first retirement spot. I absolutely *loved* Pondicherry! It is split into two parts: the Tamil side, and the French side, with street names appropriate to each. (I imagine some "West Side Story"-esque song and dance sequences, but one can only hope.) I stayed in a cute little guest house on the French side (on Rue Francois Martin - oddly cedille-less.) The French side of town is all louvered windows, whitewashed balconies and pastel-coloured houses. In typical French style, the names of the streets are on

I went to Auroville, the Sri Aurobindo ashram just outside Pondicherry. Oddly, it reminded me of Sedona - different topography, weather, etc., but the same red earth and the same peaceful, calming energy. The Matri Mandir is oddly .... "Star Trek" (and, yes, I mean the old skool one.) Walking around the grounds is like a South Indian botany class - tamarind, cocoa, mango, etc.

For breakfast, I had a croissant, for lunch - Indo-French (Franco-Indian?) As much as I love South Indian food, it's nice to get a break from it. (If I see another vada staring at me in the morning, I may scream.) I went for a walk along the water, stopping to admire the Gandhi memorial. (As a sidenote: guys here are L.A.M.E. - but this is a surprise to no one.) I had my fortune told, not something I would have chosen to do - but the person I was with had hers done, and wanted me to get mine done as well. The person was uncannily accurate (ex. that I'm a lawyer, that I have two younger brothers), and also hit some ... obvious notes (ex. I will have a "love" marriage - I'm not married at 32, arranged is looking ... unlikely. Frankly, I'm not so into the 'marriage' idea at all, but that is a post for another time.) Apparently, people will take the things I say the wrong way for the next three months. Beautiful. (And different how, exactly?)

I think Pondicherry fits with other cities I have loved: it is on the smallish side - not so small that it's boring, not so big that you can't explore it on foot and take its pulse in a day or two. I will definitely be back.

.........

And with that, we take you back to our regularly scheduled broadcast. I am back in the US and will be once again boring you with the minutiae of my life.