Daniel, my brother

I had my first occasion to deal with an infamous computer supplier's customer support after a key popped off of my keyboard (less than 3 weeks of use - nice.) I tried the online "chat room" style support.

My customer support counselor signed on as Daniel, but when I read the following:

{Daniel} Since when is this happening ?

I knew I was dealing with someone from the motherland. My name, first and last, came up in the same chat window, so "Daniel" was aware of my family background (down to what state my family is from in India.)

Towards the end of the "service chat", we had this exchange:

{Daniel} Do let me know when the issue is resolved my Email ID is rajiv.superdesiname AT blah.com
{maisnon} so your name isn't Daniel, eh?
{Daniel} : )
{Daniel} No that is my sudeo name
{Daniel} My name is Rajiv Superdesiname.
{maisnon} Yeah I figured that out from the email address : )

I wonder if I received the benefit of "his good name" at the end because of my obviously Indian name. I can't see how that would work out too well otherwise: you can't represent yourself as Jennifer, and then suggest people email you at saraswati.swaminathan.

Many people think that I don't have an inner censor, or that she is asleep A LOT, but I debate things in my head much, much more than you'd think. Earlier this year, a radio station decided that terrorizing a call center worker would make good radio. Because of that earlier incident, I gave Rajiv two suggestions for alternate phrasings of "Since when is this happening?" And I felt like a total bitch as I did it.

I tried to be clear that I wasn't correcting his English. I figured if you're trying to "pass" as, ostensibly, an American, the tip could help. Of course, the best solution would be for the Rajivs of the world to just be Rajivs, for it to not be necessary to have a sudeo.


Oh, by the way, this post brought to you by the letter "J."

les ongles

Dear Fabulous Readers:

Whoops. I somehow didn't think anyone would notice if I took a mini-hiatus. I didn't really even plan on not posting -it just sort of happened.

As you can imagine, things are heating up (2 weeks tomorrow, mes p'tits!) I'm not sure how much I'll be posting until D-day(s) are over - there will be some, but probably sporadic, at best.

Why the random pic of my nails, you may ask? I got my nails "did" over the weekend as a reward for having had 8 hours of class on both Saturday and Sunday (meaning I've had BarBri everyday since July 5.) I had the hardest time deciding on a color, and at the last minute, I went with this one. After I was left with the nail dryer (and the inevitable Lifetime movie, favoritest channel of nail salons), I flipped the bottle over and read the name of the color:

Don't Wine, Yukon Do it

So there you go. To all my Bar peeps - home stretch, kiddos! If I don't get a chance to check in with you, good luck on the California, Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York, Florida, etc. etc. Bar.

Go in there, kick ass and take names - yukon do it!

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

My life at home is insular by choice: I have no landline, no internet connection, and no TV. I do not listen to the radio at home. It is my bubble, my sanctuary and I like it that way.

Today, I arrived at my office and found an email from Saj (who recently moved to England.) It said "I'm fine, I wasn't on the tube. Please don't worry." I hit the news sites, and I was just flattened.

I know it seems so obvious, but sometimes the cruelty, the callousness and the heartlessness with which people can treat each other destroys me. I called home to make sure that our family was accounted for. (Like all Indians everywhere, I have family in the U.K. - two uncles and their respective families, one on each side.)

I did a gut-check and realised I couldn't go to class. I went to the night class instead. When I got off the metro, there were cops on either side of the platform slowly and purposefully striding up the edges in battle gear. There was one in front of me, and from the way he was walking, I thought he was carrying a backpack in front of him. No, it was a gigantic rifle.

My sadness turned to anger: do the rifles make us any safer? If you "saw a terrorist" right now, could you shoot him without injuring all of us? Newsflash: terrorists, at least these terrorists, aren't afraid to die. The only people you are scaring are people like ME. I think this is all a big show for the general public, look - we're doing stuff.

But, I think that I was just jumping from one big emotion to another. It's much easier to be angry than to be sad and feel like you are wearing your heart on the outside. It will take a few days to feel "sorted", and to stop having that knot of panic right under my sternum that I had when I could see the Pentagon burning from the pike.

What can I do? I think that I can realise how lucky I am, and appreciate my friends and family. I think that I can cry a little. I think that I can have faith, and keep people in my thoughts. I think that, if I believe the affirmations tape I keep in the car, I can radiate love to the world and believe that I can help to heal it.

NB: Heliotrope

So. Not quite end game, but getting there. We had our most recent Essay workshop on Tuesday and Sakai warned of us of burnout. Now, Sakai is pretty hard-nosed, so if he warns me to throttle back, I listen.

Not to worry, though, because it is happening kind of naturally. I coasted most of last week, and was very productive over the long weekend. I'm trying to listen to myself and work when I'm feeling it, and ease up when it's needed, or switch topics/tasks.

I've started thinking about what I want to bring with me to California, what do I want to wear to the Bar, etc. Today, I auditioned a pair of pants, and they passed! I'm trying to figure out what I want to eat. I have trouble eating when I'm nervous, but not eating is not an option. How sweet is this? One of my BarBri friends is staying in the same hotel, and her mom is coming and acting as her "second in command" - making her meals, etc. BarBri friend offered to have her mom make my meals too, which I thought was really nice of her, but I didn't take her up on it. She talked to her mom last night and mentioned that I'm staying in the same hotel, and her mom offered to make my meals. What a sweet family, eh?

I want to get through the materials, have time to "power up" on all the rules....and hit the Bar feeling sharp and fresh. It's that last one that may be hard.

But for now, I'm just hanging out in the water, sitting on my board with my feet dangling and watching the waves. When I see one I like, I paddle and ride it into shore, but sometimes it's just counting waves and feeling the sun on my back and the saltwater drying in my hair.

Trifecta

July 1 - Canada Day
July 4 - Independence Day
July 14 - le jour de la Bastille

That's a lotta national celebratin' for a 2 week span, n'est-ce pas?

I didn't do anything for Canada Day, more's the pity. I should have gone in search of maple candy, or poutine (be SURE to pronounce that correctly!!) Thinking about Canada Day makes me remember frantically trying to learn the Canadian national anthem at my undergraduate graduation. (Thankfully, they print it on the inside cover of the program for us non-Canucks!)

The national anthem was one of my two "we're not in Kansas anymore" moments my first week of college: they had a big assembly to welcome all the frosh, and it opened with the national anthem. I stood up expecting to hear the familiar...only to be greeted by something I had never heard before. Whoah. The other moment centers around the concept of "the nation's capital." I grew up in the DC-area, and I'm very used to thinking of it that way. It's drummed into us by radio and television programs, not to mention graduation speeches. That first week of school, I remember being drowsy, curled up in bed not ready to face the world, and listening to the school's official radio station.

"And in other football news, the Queen's Golden Gaels travel to the Nation's Capital..."

Hmm... I wondered what they were doing in DC.

"...to battle the Ottawa Gee-Gees."

Eyes popped open - wow, where DID that tornado drop me? (I, of course, also wondered "What the fuck's a Gee-Gee")

I was only in Canada once for the 4th of July (I threw a big party - I don't think any of my Canadian friends knew WHY I had it - sneaky, eh?) Mostly, I would miss the U.S. on Thanksgiving. Canadians have their Thanksgiving on the U.S's Columbus Day, so we didn't have the day off. I'd usually drag someone out for a piece of pecan pie as my little mini-celebration.

What will I do this year for Bastille Day? Mmmm....I'm thinking a really luscious glass of wine at my favorite wine bar.

............

Update:

I forgot to mention what I did for the 4th of July this year. This is my last Independence Day in DC for the foreseeable future, but I really, really didn't want to head down to the mall: the milling throngs of tourists, inebriated locals, and general swelter. Oddly, I really wanted to study. The feeling doesn't come over me often, so I wanted to take advantage of it. I spent all day studying for the Bar and being really productive. I study in Arlington, so come "show time", I just turned off the lights and watched the show from my office. The sound and light show without the stress.

NB: Seriously Kinky

For my BarBri-mates: behold! An article on Epstein's favorite Texas Jewboy. He's apparently running for governor???

But, I guess that's no weirder than the Governator.

Ms. Robinson

To the 15-year old who hit on me this weekend: Wow, you've got game. Of the two of us, you were the MUCH cooler customer. When I all-but-shrieked at you that I was twice your age, you didn't even bat an eye. (Okay, I didn't actually say that, but when he asked if I went to G'town, I responded very hastily that I had just graduated...FROM LAW SCHOOL!!) And, I'm sure that I looked absolutely horrified about the whole thing. (I have no poker face.)

You're ballsier than a lot of guys my age, and CLEARLY way cooler than me.

.....

My friend Michelle has a formula: according to her, women can date guys who are between (x-2) and (x+10) years old.

Who are you...

...and what have you done with my mother??

That's what I'd like to know following my most recent phone call with ma mere. She has told me a few times that I need to "slow down and pace myself," and she just told me "not to worry - it will all come together soon."

This may not sound worrisome to you, but my mom is NOT known for being supportive. Evidence:

• the week before my second marathon, she asked me, "How do you know you can finish???" Keep in mind she watched me cross the finish line at my first marathon.
• Studying for LSAT, I mentioned that the logic games are kind of a pain - my mother said "well, maybe law school isn't for you."
• And, finally, when I was buying my place, my mom said, "But, what will you do if you can't pay the mortgage?"

I should be thrilled that my mom has morphed into cheering from the sidelines, but I'm taken aback.

My relationship with my mother has changed over the years (and thanggod!) I think I assume that because she is family, somehow, that THAT relationship will always stay more or less the same. And that's so not true.

Secret (Musical) Shame

It's been running around in my mind, and brimful's comment on my Boy Named Sue post prompted me. I have many, many secret shames - but in this episode, I will share secret musical shame - the songs I'm too embarassed to admit I actually like. In no particular order, they include:

• "Baby, it's you" - JoJo (JOJO, for the love of all that's good!!! And worse...featuring L'il Bow Wow. Actually, I think he has gone the way of Rick Schroeder and Deborah Gibson and dropped the "L'il.")
• "Toxic" - Britney Spears ( I know, trust me, I know.)
• The entire works of Mr. Justin Timberlake

An entire category: disco. I'm a little defiant about this, actually. There are some disco songs that I can't get enough of, and others that make my ears bleed. Some of my favorites:

• "Young Hearts, Run Free" - Candi Station
• "Ring My Bell" - Anita Ward
• "Got to Be Real" - Cheryl Lynn ...and... [ahem]
• "I will Survive" - Gloria Gaynor

And I'm just getting started! I never know when a song will come on the radio, I will recognize that it is hideous, and yet...I won't change the station. (Most recent example, "I Want to Sex You Up" - Color me Badd. The horror! The horror!)

..........

Update:

Man, reading through the comments, I realise I really skimped on my list. Please add:

• Cher!
• One song by Celine (this is especially bad since Saj and I call her A.B.C.E. - another bad Canadian Export)
• Anastasia(sp?) I have never heard her on the radio, but they play her a lot at the gym.
• Random '80s stuff
• "Beautiful" - Christina Aguilera (as opposed to "Beautiful" - Pharrell and Snoop, which is one of my favorite songs - mmm....summer.) I don't care what you say, girlfriend can sing.

NB: Puzzle Pieces

I chickened out of grading my MBE. I don't know why, but I just never got around to it. Luckily, BarBri did it for me ;) I checked my scores last night and had a few surprises. I'm really strong on Contracts (whaa??), did decently on Property (ditto), and....showing my ultra-liberal-pinko-commie side, I apparently don't believe in Crime. (This is balanced out by my "I went to a conservative law school, and therefore will not recognize individual rights" side.) Good to know, good to know. I did notice that in the areas within each subject that I paid special attention to (after StudySmart told me I didn't know jackshit about them), I did decently.

I'm getting over my PT anxiety by taking PTs and reminding myself to JUST WRITE and not to get bogged down. Essays are going a little better too. The big problem, essay and MBE-wise is that I don't actually know anything. I mean, I have a lot of flashcards, and checklists, but I do not actually KNOW them. I understand that the last 2 weeks will be powering up on this material, so I'm not worried.

My game plan:

• PT: take a PT a week (so far, so good.) Review PT sample answers. Read and understand the intro to the PT book (a summary of Honigsberg's ramblings.) Be able to identify what skills are being tested on PTs and have a game plan for each.
• Essays: PRACTICE, practice, practice. I need to commit the checklists to memory, but that will happen after classes end. I'm also coming up with common fact patterns within each area, and will make more targeted checklists during the "powering-up sessions." (Ex. Torts: (1) products liabilty - they whole family of theories, (2) intentional torts w/a side order of vicarious liability, (3)Invasion of privacy/defamation - another little family.)
• MBE: review answers to sample MBE, and work on my weaker sub-areas. I'm trying not to get carried away with the MBE. I think this is an area of diminishing returns.

Although my results on the MBE were, um, less than stellar, I think they are were they need to be. I'm spending some time seeing how everything fits together and where I need to concentrate.