Thursday, August 10, 2006

Notes to Self

Notes to self:

  • Do not start watching “Lost” a week before flying to a foreign country. (Mmm...Netflix.)
    Related: one week till Costa Rica, bitches!
    Related: when you get back, Chai will (nearly) be here!
  • Why/How have you read the lion’s share of the Oprah’s book club books (without even trying)?
  • Loved “Little Miss Sunshine” - I don’t know how they did it, but a sight gag which should have been old after the first run through was HILARIOUS every.single.time.
    Related: oddly attracted to Steve Carell as a gay Proust scholar. What does that say about you?

Friday, August 04, 2006

55 Fiction Friday: Julie's edition

Sometimes, Friday doesn't want to make the plans.


She felt like having a drink. She drafted a quick happy hour email. Almost immediately, the responses started trickling in –working late, does it HAVE to be at THAT bar, how about next week instead, if so-and-so is going, I’m not. After reading all of it, she still felt like she needed a drink. Alone.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

As if there was any doubt

You know you're old when you're so excited about your brand new vacuum. Checking and cleaning out the filter gives you the exact thrill that the Bioré® pore strip commercials promise.

Ode to Amália

Route 1 above the Golden Gate Bridge climbs through hills, twisting into hairpin turns worthy of any luxury car commercial. While breathtakingly beautiful, one begins to understand the meaning of the phrase “between a rock and a hard place”: the Pacific Ocean crashes against the boulder-strewn shoreline while the road tightly hugs the rock face.

I drove this section of Route 1 twice this weekend, to and from a friend’s 30th birthday festivities. Both routes were emotional, sensory-laden experiences. Climbing North towards Stinson beach, I thought of the first time I had driven that route. I have found that I am revisiting places and experiences to try and wallpaper over someone’s shadow – the little tinge that reminds me of them. It’s like following someone’s footsteps in the snow, obscuring their footfall with your own. Or, perhaps, hiding that two people walked through the woods.

As beautiful as it is, the road is a difficult one to drive and can abruptly snap you from reverie when you realize just how few inches there are between you, a sheer rock wall, and a car speeding in the other direction. And let’s throw in a bicyclist for good measure, up out of the saddle, climbing, spandex riotously colorful like some human-shaped flag.

Angling away from the coast, I turned down my music to drink in the smell of eucalyptus, softening the stimuli to one sense to heighten another, turning down the radio to find a street address. That moment was perfection: breathing in clean, sunlight falling on my hair through the sunroof.

Driving south, I listened to Amália Rodrigues, the queen of Fado . I started listening to Fado when I won tickets to see Mariza five years ago, and I’ve been fascinated and enamoured of it since. Fado is in Portuguese, and I don’t understand a thing, but the sound, maybe the tone, conveys so much. Listening to Fado in Lisbon was beyond description. Between my love of fado, samba, and bossa nova, I may just have to learn me some Portuguese.

One of my favorite songs, Lisboa Antiga, reminds you of a song you’ve always known. The version I have is only about two and a half minutes long, but I listened to it over and over again because it matched the drive so well. Her voice rose and fell, in pitch and intensity, like the road through the hills. And, in one incandescent moment, Amália and the Portuguese guitar fell silent while she gathered her strength for the next note, and I rounded a curve. Amália let loose just as I saw the Pacific slamming against a rocky island.

The Golden Gate was glorious - cloudless and too regal to take in all at once. I stole glances of it passing overhead through the sunroof as I crossed it heading back into the city. Ah, saudade .

Friday, July 28, 2006

55 Fiction Friday: MLS edition

Friday ponders moving.

“2BR/2BA, W/D, vus!” trumpeted one ad, while another promised “Gourmet kitchen, hardwood floors, many original details.” She skimmed the Real Estate section armed with her trusty No. 2 and a dreamy look in her eye. She projected herself into condos, co-ops, townhouses and SFHs with abandon carried on the whispered, seductive adjectives of the industry.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Thinking Cap

The most tumultuous week of my life: quit my job (with nothing else lined up), adopted a cat, broke up with a friend, sent an "it's not me, it's you" email, and decided to take the LSAT. (I can't really say "decided to go to law school" because I wasn't that committed yet - I was sort of dipping my toe into the water.)

A few months later, I applied to law schools. I applied using the Interweb at a friend's house (the better to use her laser printer, more reliable internet connection, etc.) I remember clicking 'submit' and coming upstairs to announce, "I just applied to law school!!!" Her incongruous response was "What happened to your face??"

I rushed to the bathroom. Somehow, in the process (really, because of the process) of submitting my applications, the left half of my face had broken out into hives. To my knowledge, I'd never had hives before (or since.)

.........

Recently, I had an experience which mirrored the above. I was online, submitting information - committing to a decision I wasn't 100% sure about. I found myself alternately pressing the palms and the backs of my hands against my cheeks in an attempt to calm myself (or perhaps to prevent hive formation?) It ended up being anticlimactic, the website wouldn't take my information and I had to call it in and deal with a real live person (sadly, not from the motherland.) Chatting with her and relaying my information turned out to be less nerve-wracking.

End result: I have tickets to go to India in December for my girl's wedding! Three weeks in South India, how you like me now??

Monday, July 24, 2006

Showtime

It's T-minus 1 hour until D-day here in California (because of the time difference, it's D-day already in the other time zones.) Bar exam time. Best of luck to everyone taking a Bar exam - I'm thinking of you. I fully intend to be stupid(er) for the next three days as I channel my brain waves to my exam-taking friends.

I can't believe it has been a year since I was in your shoes. More accurately, at times, it feels like just yesterday (because - hello - there's no way I'm ready to be a 2nd year associate ... I don't know anything), and at other moments, the Bar-taking process is shrouded by the mists of time (some would say "blocked out.")

Taking the Bar exam was on par with completing my first marathon in teaching me things about myself. It was simultaneously the biggest challenge to, and the greatest opportunity to see Zen lessons at work. It was a short, intense flurry that left me dizzy and worn-out.

I'm not saying I'd do it again in a heartbeat, but some good things came out of the whole process for me. With that thought in mind - go in there, kick ass, and take names!

Friday, July 21, 2006

55 Fiction "Friday": I hate Mondays edition

Friday gets it twisted.

Shit! Shit! Shit! One brown shoe and one black shoe. She glanced at the clock again, and it still wasn’t on her side. Hair combed, teeth brushed, deodorant and perfume sprayed on. Cursory makeup applied. Purse? Keys? Cellphone? Locking the door, she felt a breeze and looked down to discover a distinct lack of pants.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Just like Honey

SJM and I once talked about starting a (comedy) desi writing group here in the Bay-area. The reason we wanted it to be "comedy" writing was because, as I put it, "How many more "my mom - she doesn't understand me!" stories can we listen to??"

I only joke because it's true!

And I'm about to add to the cornucopia.

During my childhood, my parents gave me a great gift: travel. With my family, I've been to Australia, New Zealand, Thailand, Taiwan, Italy, England, and Germany - not to mention India and Malaysia. I've had the travel bug ever since, and it is insatiable.

As some of you know, one of my fave bloggers is getting married in India and I'm very excitedly planning my first trip back in .... EIGHT years. Because India and Malaysia are home to my mother and father (respectively), I've seen *nothing* in either country (aside from the insides of houses belonging to people who are, allegedly, tangentially related to me.) Besides the 'vedding', I'm also excited about SEEING India for the first time. I'm concentrating on South India and I'm planning to spend 3 weeks. Part of the time, I'll be with friends from the wedding, and part of the time, I'll be traveling by myself.

My mother (and here's where the sob story starts) has problems with this. I can understand that, but instead of being direct about what's bothering her, she must throw out a few warm-ups first. Apparently, she feels I should not go to India for that long because:

(1) "Insects will bite you." Seriously, what? And if I were traveling with other people, the insects would preferentially bite them?

(2) "People will stare." As opposed to .... how they stare when I'm with you? Or how I'm always stared at in India? To me, this is part and parcel of traveling in India, and I'm not concerned about it.

(3) "Kerala is like this, and like that" My mother hasn't been to Kerala since I was 12 years old. When confronted about this, she claims that her assertion are based on the observations of two of my aunts. My paternal aunts. Who live in Malaysia. Translation: not bloody likely that she's talked to them about Kerala ... ever.

(4) "I'm not sure how safe it is, and I'm worried." Bingo! We have a winner! This, of course, is what was really bothering her - and it's completely legitimate. I'm not sure why she tried to Jedi-mindtrick me with the former, all it did was annoy me and make me less receptive to talking about this point.

Sigh. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm (more or less) direct simply because my mom is not.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Do the Right Thing

I have been accused of holding myself to overly-high standards. What this means is that I will often do things that I think are the right thing to do for that reason alone. I may not want to do them – but it is the right thing to do. This isn’t a fear of what other people think (because usually I just don’t care – I’m a founding member of the Partnership Against Guilt), but a weird matrix of moral obligations I’ve created for myself.

I finally got out of my own damn way. I’ve been hemming and hawing and wondering why I wasn’t excited about my “planned” vacation – going to a law school friend’s wedding in Ireland. And by “planned” I mean that I told her I was going, but have been procrastinating and procrastinating when it comes to booking tickets or accommodations, etc. I know why I wasn’t excited about going. It wasn’t the wedding, it was afterwards: Ireland just doesn’t seem like a fun place to explore by yourself. I’d asked a few people if they wanted to tour around, and nothing ever quite worked out. I’ve traveled by myself before, and I’m usually up for it. But not this time.

What I wanted to do for my post-Bar trip: go to Costa Rica for a few weeks and attend an immersion Spanish program. What I ended up doing: revamping my condo with my dad to put it on the market. Looking at my GMail account, I have a tag for Costa Rica and all the emails I sent out last year re: immersion programs - I had even flagged two schools as being at the top of my list.

When the proverbial lightbulb goes on, it is a brilliant, shining beacon. Once I accepted that I was NOT “going to do the right thing” and go to the wedding, I knew what I wanted. I emailed the two schools I was interested in to see if they had availability during my desired dates. That night, I voraciously consumed my Lonely Planet. The next day, I heard back from both schools, chose one, and booked airfare.

That’s right – in 2 days, I planned my entire trip.

I’ll be in Costa Rica for the last two weeks of August – actually, I’ll have 3 weekends and 2 weeks there. I’m going to school in Arenal and Dominical. I’m so excited my fingertips are tingling.