Sisyphus

I'm beyond exhausted. Only two other events in my life have knocked me on my ass this hard: my second marathon (also known as the "day I was so dehydrated I could not cry") and being the maid of honor in my best friend's wedding.

I've been reduced to an infant: I need to eat and sleep every 3 hours. As if I hadn't learn my lesson about planning, I've had to chuck all my ideas about how I was going to spend my few post-Bar days in Cali. What have I been doing instead? Sleeping, reading, sleeping, going for a walk, sleeping, shopping, sleeping. Do you see a pattern?

I missed something I really, really wanted to go to today. Maybe it's for the best, I'm not the best company right now. Meeting new people takes more than I have - focus, the ability to pay attention, process information, have synapses fire consistently enough to make conversation, etc.

I'm trying not to push - my fatigue is not just physical and fighting it will not help. I've planned to have an adventure tomorrow (in some form), so hopefully I can break out of my stupor.

les rêves

My best friend called me at 7:30 a.m. the day after the Bar to tell me that she was sorry.

Not good.

And a little disconcerting.

After going over logistical details as to how I planned to get from Oakland back to her place, she finally leveled with me. She had a dream. In it, I showed up at her place and announced that I was engaged to a guy named Scott - a guy I had never even mentioned before. In her dream, she called me every name in the book. She could tell that was being irrational and over-the-top, but she couldn't stop herself. And so - even though she knew none of that had *actually* happened - she felt guilty, and needed to apologize. In turn, I promised that I would never get engaged to a guy named Scott. And then, of course, I asked the $64,000 question:

"So, uh, was he cute?"

Krusty!

Krusty, it's YOUR fault that someone reached my site because it comes up #4 on a google search for malayalam aunty pics.

Also, to my reader in Canada who googles "maisnon" every few days, presumably to find my site. Dude, you can remember maisnon - you can get here without google!

Breaking radio silence...

So kids, it's over. GOOD things from the past few days:

Hanging out with my friend Kevin - he was my best friend from the summer class last year. I hadn't seen him in a year (!!), so it was fun to have him as my dinner buddy all week. Soon, very soon, I'll be living here and having adventures with him all the time.

Having the bestest bar exam support group EVER! I appreciated all the emails and phone calls, y'all. On site, one of my BarBri crew had her mom stay with her in the hotel. She hooked us up with food and deep breathing exercises at lunch every day. How sweet is that?? AND she took us to Chez Panisse for a late dinner last night. I called her Mom (sorry, Mom.)

I know about ... mmm.... fifteen people in the Bay area, and 12 of them, as it turns out, were taking the Bar in Oakland with me. I ran into nearly every person I summered with, some people who summered in the other Bay area office of the firm, as well as my roomie from last summer and HER friend. Craziness.

Meeting members of the Blawgination! Who sat next to me during the Bar? That's right -
I Fought the Law. Who did I run into in one of the massive lines for the elevator? Ms. Chai herself. We shared a BIG hug, like long-lost friends. I suppose, in a way, we are - after this craaazy summer. (We had drinks post-Bar, very very fun!) I ran into GG filling up on water before the last day. I'm horrified to admit that I introduced myself as my BLOG NAME, and never gave her my actual name - what is up with that???

But here's the very best thing: this is the first day I have all to myself in a long, long, LONG time. There are no papers to be written, no applications to fill out, no readings that need to be done before class, no second round edits on an article, no cramming for an exam.

I'm just me again.

NB: I've got dreams

sapner: i've been having law dreams every single night
sapner: it was only mildly annoying but THEN on the day i studied crim law/ crim pro
sapner: guess who featured?
sapner: (you actually have to guess)
maisnon17: WHITEBREAD
sapner: nope
sapner: go again
maisnon17: hmmm
maisnon17: [annoying fellow law student]?
sapner: no
sapner: last chance
maisnon17: scalia?
maisnon17: (what a nightmare that would be!)
sapner: oh lord. MIRANDA!!!!!
sapner: from SATC

En anglais, s'il vous plaît.

Feoffment involved a symbolic delivery of land by livery of seisin.

Whatever, bitches. I'm sick of reading shite that sounds like goddamn King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. I'm ready to joust over it, yo.

She get it from her mama

IM with my mom:

Supermaisnon: don't forget something to drink.
maisnon17: i have to be careful with the drinks as i don't want to have to go to the bathroom during the exam
maisnon17: and we're not allowed to have water with us during the exam
Supermaisnon: they are showing a marathon of a show called "Good Times" I used to enjoy that.
Supermaisnon: is it because you can spill the water
maisnon17: No, it's b/c they want to control the universe.
Supermaisnon: thought so too

Word.

Greetings maisnon--

Here is your horoscope for Saturday, July 23:

You're in the mood to work, and work hard. In general, that's not unusual for you, but this type of focus is similar to being obsessed. Take a deep breath and force yourself to at least try to be objective.

Absence

DTG: i miss you
maisnon: awww
maisnon: no, no - i'll say what you said when i said something similar
maisnon: how much have you had to drink??
DTG: ha ha, yeah - i probably said that.

Music moves the mind

Speaking of my iPod, I'm gearing up for my "pre-fight" psych-up with tuneage. A sampling:

• I believe in Miracles (thanks to Shuffle itself for the suggestion)
• Mama said Knock you out - Ladies Love Cool James (I'M GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT)
• Gotta have Faith - George Michael
• Today - Smashing Pumpkins

What do you rock when you need to get yourself pumped?

Is my iPod shuffle trying to tell me something?

I Believe in Miracles (You Sexy Thang) - Hot Chocolate.


Shuffle has played this song 3 out of the last 10.

Overheard, the jet set version

• I'd sell my mama on K street to pay for BarBri.*
• MA! Airplane on fire! MA! Airplane on fire! (The airplane was not, in fact, on fire - but there were random billows of smoke from something near the airplane. The kid's yelling made everyone sit up and take notice, and titter nervously. People waiting in airports have a weird version of gallows humor.)
• Well, my ticket says Northwest, but the gate says Delta, and someone is telling me it's a codeshare with Continental. So it's every airline in the U.S., apparently. (Okay, that one was me.)
• So....when are you going home (my best friend, said in the car - PICKING ME UP AT THE AIRPORT!!! Good times, good times! ;) )

So, apparently, my study plan should have been to fly across the country repeatedly. I did so much work in the airport, on the plane, etc. That may just be correlation - I think the fire under my ass has well and truly been lit - it's about damn time!

* even if you don't know DC's more tawdry side, I think you can figure out what this means.

Support

For the person who arrived at my blog by searching for malayalees in bras - seriously, get help.

Leaving on a jet plane

I'm at the parentals. I left PMBR today, headed back to the office, completed a phone "security interview" for a friend (I burst out laughing when the guy called and asked if we could schedule a time to meet), hit the drugstore for extra earplugs and school supplies, Bath & Bodyworks for some "chill out" lotion (of course, I nearly freaked out trying to choose between "Breathe Calm" and "Breath Serenity" - what is the difference? Do I want to be calm? Or serene? Calm? Or serene? What is the difference? Serenity now! Serenity now! Glad to know that one of my lowest points, Bar prep-wise, happened while trying to select de-stress lotion.) I'm now doing laundry/packing/working on PR.

I've hit a calm (or is it a serenity?) I have everything with me that I'm taking to California. I'm going to PMBR tomorrow am, and my dad is picking me up at noon and driving me to the airport. I'm getting on the plane, and flying to CA. My best friend is picking me up (I haven't seen her since AUGUST - it's been an entire year.)

All I have to do right now is keep on keeping on. I have the plan, I've done the work...and I'm starting to get excited. I know that I'm going to peak at the right time, and that my mental game is coming online.

For my BarBlawg peeps - thanks a million, you guys kept me sane. You raged against BarBri with me, you showed me that my essays were not the complete crap that the graders seemed to think. And you did it all with elan and humour. I consider y'all friends - and that's saying a lot, considering that we're all (almost) lawyers! ;)

Jasmine

My mommy loves me.

These are from her "more precious to me than my children" jasmine plants. (Okay, that status may be reserved for her curryleaf plants.)

Mom collected these flowers and strung them together for me to wear in my hair. She presented them to me like a kindergartner's valentine - shy smile, open palm. Role reversal.

Like I said, my mommy loves me.

Regiment

So...this is what my Bar studying looks like now. Condensing my outlines into "idea maps" - how are things connected? What are the elements? The tests?

I'm trying to step up the number of essays I outline - and well I should, a lot of the time, my "rule" is more like a lot of "umm....something something goes here."

My MBE stuff is slowly improving...or is it? Hard to tell. I outlined a performance test, and I found it fun. In Epstein-speak, I done lost my mind, I know.

Aside from trying to stick to my "regiment"*, I am trying to get my mental game in order. So, so much of this exam is about the ability to not take yourself out of the game. Things that are helping me (your mileage may vary):

Understanding failure. I told a "rising 2L" that the best reason to pass the Bar is to not have to study for it again. I firmly believe that. HOWEVER, I know that by thinking about the possible consequences if I fail, I can eliminate some of my anxiety. Yes, it would very much suck to have to take it again, and the pride thing, and let's not forget the job thing (they'll let me take it again - like domesticated animals, "first bite is free.") BUT, if I fail - no one dies, it's not what I want, but it is manageable.

Remembering success. I was, um, much less than a stellar student in undergrad. Much less. My expectations for myself coming into law school were very modest. First semester, I thought I was so behind everyone else, and I was intimidated. People had study groups, lending libraries of study aids (okay - that was one group), etc. I remember Dec. exams as being pretty fun. We've already established that I'm a geek and crazy - what I mean is that, divorced from the pressure of having to perform, I was able to just get in there and see it as a game. Issue spotting became like... "Duck Hunt." Multiple choice, yes please. And so on.

That's my goal: to get back to the point where it is fun again, to know that I have prepared, and that, with a clear head, I can see it as a game and give it my best shot.



* A friend keeps referring to my schedule/plan/etc as my "regiment." I kind of like it - I imagine a sea of stuffy British redcoats (maybe drinking tea?) waiting to do my bidding. My first order - get rid of Community Property - CHARGE!

Emily Post

Glad to see I'm not the only one who's crazy:

DTG, "WHATEVER! I'm the most courteous person around - does that mutherfucker know who he's dealing with???"

Press Pause

I was more than a little sad when my Bar prep class ended. Yes, I had been lectured to for four hours a day for the past 6 weeks. Yes, I had class over the weekend, making it a grand total of 9 days of BarBri in a row. I was sad about the end of BarBri for three reasons (1) that means the Bar is coming up right.fast.quick, (2) I met some really cool people and now we're scattering to the winds, and finally (3) it's another little, mini-phase of my life that's over.

I've had a lot of things happen in the last 2 months and I haven't had the time, perspective, space, mindset, etc. to be able to process any of it. I graduated from law school. This is huge - I still remember consoling myself the night before my first day by thinking, "If you hate it, you can quit after 1 semester." Law school has been my life for the last three years (in good and bad ways), and I haven't had a moment to really parse that it's over. I'm embarking on a new career, and moving across the country (i.e. away from my family.) The whole experience has placed me in a position I would have never imagined - it's all very exciting, or would be if I could assimilate it.

I need alone time - it's not just nice to have, I become crabby and irritable without it. I use that time to check in with myself and to think about things, or not think about things (sometimes the best way to wrap your head around an issue.) I know that I'm doing what I need to be doing right now, or at least trying to, but it's hard. I feel like so much is building up.

But, for right now, the levee must hold. Heel-toe, heel-toe, moving forward with schedules, lists, highlighters galore and a mess of flashcards.

Danielle?

In response to comments on Daniel, my brother:

1) Yes, no one's last name is Superdesiname (yet.) Kinda rhymes with Subramaniam, doesn't it?

This is another example of me thinking too much - I worried that somehow if I used his real name (Rajiv isn't his name either), it could maybe, possible get back to ze boss. His real first name has the same root as mine, which is what made it even funnier.

(Actually, may not even be a guy - to me, the name is female, BUT some North Indians have names that I *distinctly* associate with the other gender. For example, my friend's mom is named Krishna. I'm assuming he's a guy because why would you choose a guy's name otherwise. Oooh...unless you're trying to deal with the whole "chicks know nothing about computers" thing. Aaaand...another example of me thinking too much.)

Email me if you want actual name (and then give me your opinion!)

(2) Re: my "lesson" - he(?) thanked me. I totally agree, AF, mad props to call center people - working customer support has to suck - like being a lawyer - no one calls you up b/c all is right with their world.

(3) As I said, I was very careful to make it clear that I wasn't saying his English was wrong...b/c I don't think that.

That, and it reminds me of this time I was dealing with a Swiss guy on the phone, and his English was pretty sub-par, so I switched to French. I used the French way of saying 80 (which is, admittedly, weird - you say "four twenties") and he MOCKED me (and LAUGHED), and explained the Swiss way (which I knew, but chose not to use). Whatever, dude!!

(3) "Sussudio." I can't tell you how many precious, precious hours I wasted last night trying to Google that song. I couldn't find it b/c I didn't know how to spell it. I thought the same thing, brimful, and it's stuck in my head too. Along with the title of the post.

Ah Elton John AND Phil Collins, it's going to be a good day.

Daniel, my brother

I had my first occasion to deal with an infamous computer supplier's customer support after a key popped off of my keyboard (less than 3 weeks of use - nice.) I tried the online "chat room" style support.

My customer support counselor signed on as Daniel, but when I read the following:

{Daniel} Since when is this happening ?

I knew I was dealing with someone from the motherland. My name, first and last, came up in the same chat window, so "Daniel" was aware of my family background (down to what state my family is from in India.)

Towards the end of the "service chat", we had this exchange:

{Daniel} Do let me know when the issue is resolved my Email ID is rajiv.superdesiname AT blah.com
{maisnon} so your name isn't Daniel, eh?
{Daniel} : )
{Daniel} No that is my sudeo name
{Daniel} My name is Rajiv Superdesiname.
{maisnon} Yeah I figured that out from the email address : )

I wonder if I received the benefit of "his good name" at the end because of my obviously Indian name. I can't see how that would work out too well otherwise: you can't represent yourself as Jennifer, and then suggest people email you at saraswati.swaminathan.

Many people think that I don't have an inner censor, or that she is asleep A LOT, but I debate things in my head much, much more than you'd think. Earlier this year, a radio station decided that terrorizing a call center worker would make good radio. Because of that earlier incident, I gave Rajiv two suggestions for alternate phrasings of "Since when is this happening?" And I felt like a total bitch as I did it.

I tried to be clear that I wasn't correcting his English. I figured if you're trying to "pass" as, ostensibly, an American, the tip could help. Of course, the best solution would be for the Rajivs of the world to just be Rajivs, for it to not be necessary to have a sudeo.


Oh, by the way, this post brought to you by the letter "J."

les ongles

Dear Fabulous Readers:

Whoops. I somehow didn't think anyone would notice if I took a mini-hiatus. I didn't really even plan on not posting -it just sort of happened.

As you can imagine, things are heating up (2 weeks tomorrow, mes p'tits!) I'm not sure how much I'll be posting until D-day(s) are over - there will be some, but probably sporadic, at best.

Why the random pic of my nails, you may ask? I got my nails "did" over the weekend as a reward for having had 8 hours of class on both Saturday and Sunday (meaning I've had BarBri everyday since July 5.) I had the hardest time deciding on a color, and at the last minute, I went with this one. After I was left with the nail dryer (and the inevitable Lifetime movie, favoritest channel of nail salons), I flipped the bottle over and read the name of the color:

Don't Wine, Yukon Do it

So there you go. To all my Bar peeps - home stretch, kiddos! If I don't get a chance to check in with you, good luck on the California, Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New York, Florida, etc. etc. Bar.

Go in there, kick ass and take names - yukon do it!

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

My life at home is insular by choice: I have no landline, no internet connection, and no TV. I do not listen to the radio at home. It is my bubble, my sanctuary and I like it that way.

Today, I arrived at my office and found an email from Saj (who recently moved to England.) It said "I'm fine, I wasn't on the tube. Please don't worry." I hit the news sites, and I was just flattened.

I know it seems so obvious, but sometimes the cruelty, the callousness and the heartlessness with which people can treat each other destroys me. I called home to make sure that our family was accounted for. (Like all Indians everywhere, I have family in the U.K. - two uncles and their respective families, one on each side.)

I did a gut-check and realised I couldn't go to class. I went to the night class instead. When I got off the metro, there were cops on either side of the platform slowly and purposefully striding up the edges in battle gear. There was one in front of me, and from the way he was walking, I thought he was carrying a backpack in front of him. No, it was a gigantic rifle.

My sadness turned to anger: do the rifles make us any safer? If you "saw a terrorist" right now, could you shoot him without injuring all of us? Newsflash: terrorists, at least these terrorists, aren't afraid to die. The only people you are scaring are people like ME. I think this is all a big show for the general public, look - we're doing stuff.

But, I think that I was just jumping from one big emotion to another. It's much easier to be angry than to be sad and feel like you are wearing your heart on the outside. It will take a few days to feel "sorted", and to stop having that knot of panic right under my sternum that I had when I could see the Pentagon burning from the pike.

What can I do? I think that I can realise how lucky I am, and appreciate my friends and family. I think that I can cry a little. I think that I can have faith, and keep people in my thoughts. I think that, if I believe the affirmations tape I keep in the car, I can radiate love to the world and believe that I can help to heal it.

NB: Heliotrope

So. Not quite end game, but getting there. We had our most recent Essay workshop on Tuesday and Sakai warned of us of burnout. Now, Sakai is pretty hard-nosed, so if he warns me to throttle back, I listen.

Not to worry, though, because it is happening kind of naturally. I coasted most of last week, and was very productive over the long weekend. I'm trying to listen to myself and work when I'm feeling it, and ease up when it's needed, or switch topics/tasks.

I've started thinking about what I want to bring with me to California, what do I want to wear to the Bar, etc. Today, I auditioned a pair of pants, and they passed! I'm trying to figure out what I want to eat. I have trouble eating when I'm nervous, but not eating is not an option. How sweet is this? One of my BarBri friends is staying in the same hotel, and her mom is coming and acting as her "second in command" - making her meals, etc. BarBri friend offered to have her mom make my meals too, which I thought was really nice of her, but I didn't take her up on it. She talked to her mom last night and mentioned that I'm staying in the same hotel, and her mom offered to make my meals. What a sweet family, eh?

I want to get through the materials, have time to "power up" on all the rules....and hit the Bar feeling sharp and fresh. It's that last one that may be hard.

But for now, I'm just hanging out in the water, sitting on my board with my feet dangling and watching the waves. When I see one I like, I paddle and ride it into shore, but sometimes it's just counting waves and feeling the sun on my back and the saltwater drying in my hair.

Trifecta

July 1 - Canada Day
July 4 - Independence Day
July 14 - le jour de la Bastille

That's a lotta national celebratin' for a 2 week span, n'est-ce pas?

I didn't do anything for Canada Day, more's the pity. I should have gone in search of maple candy, or poutine (be SURE to pronounce that correctly!!) Thinking about Canada Day makes me remember frantically trying to learn the Canadian national anthem at my undergraduate graduation. (Thankfully, they print it on the inside cover of the program for us non-Canucks!)

The national anthem was one of my two "we're not in Kansas anymore" moments my first week of college: they had a big assembly to welcome all the frosh, and it opened with the national anthem. I stood up expecting to hear the familiar...only to be greeted by something I had never heard before. Whoah. The other moment centers around the concept of "the nation's capital." I grew up in the DC-area, and I'm very used to thinking of it that way. It's drummed into us by radio and television programs, not to mention graduation speeches. That first week of school, I remember being drowsy, curled up in bed not ready to face the world, and listening to the school's official radio station.

"And in other football news, the Queen's Golden Gaels travel to the Nation's Capital..."

Hmm... I wondered what they were doing in DC.

"...to battle the Ottawa Gee-Gees."

Eyes popped open - wow, where DID that tornado drop me? (I, of course, also wondered "What the fuck's a Gee-Gee")

I was only in Canada once for the 4th of July (I threw a big party - I don't think any of my Canadian friends knew WHY I had it - sneaky, eh?) Mostly, I would miss the U.S. on Thanksgiving. Canadians have their Thanksgiving on the U.S's Columbus Day, so we didn't have the day off. I'd usually drag someone out for a piece of pecan pie as my little mini-celebration.

What will I do this year for Bastille Day? Mmmm....I'm thinking a really luscious glass of wine at my favorite wine bar.

............

Update:

I forgot to mention what I did for the 4th of July this year. This is my last Independence Day in DC for the foreseeable future, but I really, really didn't want to head down to the mall: the milling throngs of tourists, inebriated locals, and general swelter. Oddly, I really wanted to study. The feeling doesn't come over me often, so I wanted to take advantage of it. I spent all day studying for the Bar and being really productive. I study in Arlington, so come "show time", I just turned off the lights and watched the show from my office. The sound and light show without the stress.

NB: Seriously Kinky

For my BarBri-mates: behold! An article on Epstein's favorite Texas Jewboy. He's apparently running for governor???

But, I guess that's no weirder than the Governator.

Ms. Robinson

To the 15-year old who hit on me this weekend: Wow, you've got game. Of the two of us, you were the MUCH cooler customer. When I all-but-shrieked at you that I was twice your age, you didn't even bat an eye. (Okay, I didn't actually say that, but when he asked if I went to G'town, I responded very hastily that I had just graduated...FROM LAW SCHOOL!!) And, I'm sure that I looked absolutely horrified about the whole thing. (I have no poker face.)

You're ballsier than a lot of guys my age, and CLEARLY way cooler than me.

.....

My friend Michelle has a formula: according to her, women can date guys who are between (x-2) and (x+10) years old.

Who are you...

...and what have you done with my mother??

That's what I'd like to know following my most recent phone call with ma mere. She has told me a few times that I need to "slow down and pace myself," and she just told me "not to worry - it will all come together soon."

This may not sound worrisome to you, but my mom is NOT known for being supportive. Evidence:

• the week before my second marathon, she asked me, "How do you know you can finish???" Keep in mind she watched me cross the finish line at my first marathon.
• Studying for LSAT, I mentioned that the logic games are kind of a pain - my mother said "well, maybe law school isn't for you."
• And, finally, when I was buying my place, my mom said, "But, what will you do if you can't pay the mortgage?"

I should be thrilled that my mom has morphed into cheering from the sidelines, but I'm taken aback.

My relationship with my mother has changed over the years (and thanggod!) I think I assume that because she is family, somehow, that THAT relationship will always stay more or less the same. And that's so not true.

Secret (Musical) Shame

It's been running around in my mind, and brimful's comment on my Boy Named Sue post prompted me. I have many, many secret shames - but in this episode, I will share secret musical shame - the songs I'm too embarassed to admit I actually like. In no particular order, they include:

• "Baby, it's you" - JoJo (JOJO, for the love of all that's good!!! And worse...featuring L'il Bow Wow. Actually, I think he has gone the way of Rick Schroeder and Deborah Gibson and dropped the "L'il.")
• "Toxic" - Britney Spears ( I know, trust me, I know.)
• The entire works of Mr. Justin Timberlake

An entire category: disco. I'm a little defiant about this, actually. There are some disco songs that I can't get enough of, and others that make my ears bleed. Some of my favorites:

• "Young Hearts, Run Free" - Candi Station
• "Ring My Bell" - Anita Ward
• "Got to Be Real" - Cheryl Lynn ...and... [ahem]
• "I will Survive" - Gloria Gaynor

And I'm just getting started! I never know when a song will come on the radio, I will recognize that it is hideous, and yet...I won't change the station. (Most recent example, "I Want to Sex You Up" - Color me Badd. The horror! The horror!)

..........

Update:

Man, reading through the comments, I realise I really skimped on my list. Please add:

• Cher!
• One song by Celine (this is especially bad since Saj and I call her A.B.C.E. - another bad Canadian Export)
• Anastasia(sp?) I have never heard her on the radio, but they play her a lot at the gym.
• Random '80s stuff
• "Beautiful" - Christina Aguilera (as opposed to "Beautiful" - Pharrell and Snoop, which is one of my favorite songs - mmm....summer.) I don't care what you say, girlfriend can sing.

NB: Puzzle Pieces

I chickened out of grading my MBE. I don't know why, but I just never got around to it. Luckily, BarBri did it for me ;) I checked my scores last night and had a few surprises. I'm really strong on Contracts (whaa??), did decently on Property (ditto), and....showing my ultra-liberal-pinko-commie side, I apparently don't believe in Crime. (This is balanced out by my "I went to a conservative law school, and therefore will not recognize individual rights" side.) Good to know, good to know. I did notice that in the areas within each subject that I paid special attention to (after StudySmart told me I didn't know jackshit about them), I did decently.

I'm getting over my PT anxiety by taking PTs and reminding myself to JUST WRITE and not to get bogged down. Essays are going a little better too. The big problem, essay and MBE-wise is that I don't actually know anything. I mean, I have a lot of flashcards, and checklists, but I do not actually KNOW them. I understand that the last 2 weeks will be powering up on this material, so I'm not worried.

My game plan:

• PT: take a PT a week (so far, so good.) Review PT sample answers. Read and understand the intro to the PT book (a summary of Honigsberg's ramblings.) Be able to identify what skills are being tested on PTs and have a game plan for each.
• Essays: PRACTICE, practice, practice. I need to commit the checklists to memory, but that will happen after classes end. I'm also coming up with common fact patterns within each area, and will make more targeted checklists during the "powering-up sessions." (Ex. Torts: (1) products liabilty - they whole family of theories, (2) intentional torts w/a side order of vicarious liability, (3)Invasion of privacy/defamation - another little family.)
• MBE: review answers to sample MBE, and work on my weaker sub-areas. I'm trying not to get carried away with the MBE. I think this is an area of diminishing returns.

Although my results on the MBE were, um, less than stellar, I think they are were they need to be. I'm spending some time seeing how everything fits together and where I need to concentrate.